A Swift Kick & A Band-Aid

HAPPY TURKEY DAY 09
(or Just Dance, Gonna Be OK"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

This year, I am thankful to be spending the day with a group of people that want to be together, not a group that came together out of obligation. I am thankful that I can cook the dishes I love and then take them to someone else's house so there less to clean up later. :-)

I am thankful my job is secure and that my co-workers are such a great group of people to be around all day.

I am thankful for all the people that will talk me out of trees, accept me for my flaws, and bring love into my life.

I am thankful that most days I can just dance ... the rest will work itself out (eventually).

What are you thankful for?

Some Things We Don't Talk About
Rather Do Without And Just Hold the Smile

I don't really consider myself a crier. Well, in the sense that I generally refuse to cry in front of other people... Put me in front of Gray's Anatomy and I cry like a baby. But in front of other people just doesn't happen for two reasons: 1) I refuse to show weakness in the face of those attempting to cause pain, and 2) its just plain embarrassing.

I broke down and sobbed in my friend's arms when I discovered I was still being cheated on in college

I lost the ability to intelligibly speak as I cried in front of a room full of people instead of giving the toast they wanted at my dad's wedding reception

I wept at my grandmother's funeral and forced my way through the tears as I held a family photo and told the judge how having her taken away affected me.

I screamed through the tears when someone told me I had no right to be upset about a man that was being neglected into death by his family.

But yesterday at a party, when I least expected to cry in front of other people, I cried trying to explain the anxiety of a homecoming.

Maybe I cried because I knew they didn't get it, or maybe because I'm scared of the chance that there won't be one, or maybe because I'm scared it won't be in an airport, or maybe it was just time I finally cry about being alone ... but the only reason I felt at the time, was the fear that we will have grown too far apart.

I know I'm in good company as I've never been able to read AWTM's thoughts on it without tearing up ... maybe I really am a crier?

Its Not My Time ... I'm Not Goin'

Anyone that knows me know, I am NOT a morning person...

Apparently, the dog has not gotten the memo (really? after this many years? seriously, learn how to read already!) He is perhaps the strongest force keeping me from considering kids in the near future behind the financial aspect and the utter lack of a support for us to lean on.

This dog decided at some point that I must be awake and ready to take him out at 8:30 each and every morning that I am not required to be awake earlier for work. Not having a yard, this means actually getting dressed, putting on the leash, and going for a brief neighborhood stroll. Normally I pawn this responsibility off on the hubs (after all, its his dog) but now it falls on me.

I tried to be understanding ... really, I did ... its morning, you gotta pee, ok ... I'll give him a pass.

Not anymore. He ruined that for himself this weekend.

He's been in no hurry to do any kind of business once we've gotten outside, he's turned up his nose at his food when we've gotten back inside (its microwaved for christ's sake!), and I just about lost it this morning when he curled up on his bed and immediately went back to sleep.

So ... I'm awake on my day off, sitting here with a sinus headache, unable to go back to sleep, hearing about how Obama's idiot healthcare ideas might actually pass ... and it was for no good reason? Un.Happy.Camper.

Yeah, I'm not ready for kids yet

Oh Christmas Tree...

Is it really Christmas eve already...? ugh ...

I am not ready for it to be Christmas.

I am home recovering from the flu today (thanks to family members that don't understand to stay home when they have been shitting themselves silly).

I didn't get my neighbor gifts out.

My tree has no ornaments on it.

I am hardly willing to take a shower alone in the house for fear of passing out, there is no way I'm going to be able to enjoy a Christmas feast, let alone make one.

Santa, can I get a do-over?

Well You Keep Me Comin Back For More
And I Feel a Little Better Than I Did Before

Its no secret that I have half a zoo crammed into 1340 sq ft and that I am sometimes (massively) annoyed by the things they do.

gassing me out ...
drool...
peeing on me...
flinging slobber...
vomit...

feathers...
chirping...
squawking...

splashing...
biting... (yes, one of the fish bit me)

Sometimes I wish I could put them all up on Craigslist and be done with it.

But it was almost worth it today when this happened:

The dog decided it was too early to be awake so he is sacked out on his bed in the living room. The birds, however, decided it was a perfect time to be awake and started bitching at each other. The dog picked up his head, looked straight at their cage, and gave them a clear expression of annoyance (you could see it in his face). He huffed and laid back down. Then he left the room because his huff was not enough to shut them up.

Karma's a bitch, isn't it dog?

This Time Please Someone Come Rescue Me...

Dear Self,

Chips dipped in cottage cheese does not equal a sufficient or balanced dinner.

And the two cookies and handful (s...) of reeces pieces still count, even though no one saw you eat them.

Oh, and wearing those athletic shorts around the house while trying out your new running shoes does not count as exercise.

Just FYI ...

--Self

Move Over Jen Lancaster
I Can Write Long Subtitles Too

The more I use my wii fit, the more I think I should rename my blog to "Confessions of a Fat Ass: how a slightly blubbery girl comes to the realization that there really isn't muscle hiding under there"

Once upon a time, I was a girl with a fair amount of strength. Um, apparently ... not so much anymore ...

Sitting in front of a computer all day, every day has done more damage that I previously realized. I am facing an uphill battle ...

and Wii fit, you evil bastard ... I hate you for calling me out when I cheat at yoga ...

I Need A Lover That Won't Drive Me Crazy

Does anyone else find it wrong that I need a blanket to survive a conference room but a fan to survive my desk?

Yes Way Jose ...

For anyone that likes Thai food but doesn't really know how to cook, Trader Joes is your new best friend. I just finished making (and eating) an awesomely easy Thai dish with four ingredients. FOUR! (mostly)

1 bag of Thai seasoned green beans (Trader Joes)
1 package of Thai seasoned baked tofu (Trader Joes)
1 large chicken breast
1/4 onion, sliced

Throw the chicken in a hot non-stick pan and get a good sear going. Toss in the sliced onions and a splash of wine. Add in the green beans and follow the directions on the bag. After adding the sauce, add the tofu and gently toss. Your dinner is now DONE!

Now, I said mostly four ingredients because I do gussy up my meat a little when I make asian food. I thinly sliced the chicken, sprinkled it with some corn starch, splashed it with some white wine, and let it sit there for a bit before I threw it in a hot pan. Of course, salt and pepper are required as well. And I did de-glaze the pan with a splash of white wine before the green beans went in ...

but still ...

that's mostly only four ingredients!

I am now a Trader Joes convert

I've Got a First Class Ticket but I'm Blue as a Boy Could Be

The past month of so has left me feeling very overwhelmed by ... stuff ...

I can't even say it is because I am a terrible packrat (although, I admittedly am and really should join some kind of group therapy...).

I have ... things ... to the point that I want to just move and leave my entire house behind. Yet, when I get on a cleaning binge and get committed to "throwing all this crap away" ... I realize its not really just "crap" cluttering up my life. There are ... things ...

Power strips
Dog food
Cookbooks
Vases
Product manuals
Small appliances
Tools

Everything is useful and should have a home ... somewhere... But I feel like my life is slowly being swallowed by some kind of weird consignment shop of other people's things.

And did I mention I am in dire need of both a haircut and a pedicure? Its been over a year since I've had either. No, I'm not exaggerating ... May of 2007 ... how is any chick supposed to feel chicky with such negligent pampering?

This sucks

Find out what it means to me

Why on earth is it fashionable for people to wear pseudo-military uniforms/patches like they've somehow earned them?

Granted, the people on the tv programs that I watch that have done this are people that I find pretty annoying anyway ...

... but Padma? Seriously? You're the host of a cooking competition. I appreciate your nod to our service members but WTF??

Its Amazing What A Man Can See By the Light of a Burning Bridge

I got a copy of my x-rays last week and today I went to a dentist a girl from school has used for a couple of years....

An $81 price tag was so worth it to have a second opinion on my teeth.

They were just as nice as she promised...the guy at the front desk greeted me by name before I ever picked up a pen or said a word. The dentist was not condescending and judgmental like the previous one was. She asked questions, explained what was confusing, and offered no pressure for me to use her in the future.

Of course, I absolutely will ...

Instead of the 12 the other guy said I needed at over $4600, I will be getting TWO. I don't have the actual price tag but I've already been promised they will be lower than anything the other guy was charging.

*deep sigh of relief*

Thank GOD I'm smart enough to know when someone is trying to rape my bank account and call it a friendly hello ...

In These Shoes ... ? Hunny, I Don't Think So ...

Ahhh ... almost 70 degrees today and lunch out of doors for the first time in a LONG time. And the weather promises to be just as nice tomorrow.

Its almost enough to make me not care about having to dress up tomorrow ...

OPEN TOED SHOES!!

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells ...

Is anyone else as screwed as I am for Christmas?

I have literally one gift purchased ... ONE ...

No idea what to buy for most people ...

And of course, a late week all next week so getting to the post office will be out of the question even if I do manage to find gifts.

Where does that leave me? At the mercy of the internet and online retailers to ship my gifts in time ...

Awesome.

Stupid December flying by ...

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.

I finally found some down time between the absolute fatigue of work and weekly dad visits to go to a wine festival today ...

An hour's drive into the middle of no where mountains in the midst of the fall leaves changing color ... and then?

YUK! The wine literally made me ill...

I know there is at least ONE good winery in this state (because I've been to it) but they certainly weren't there today. I tried several of the wineries there and ended up walking away because of the nasty feeling the swill was creating in my stomach.

Not all was lost - I found some Christmas presents (yay for shopping early!) and it was a really nice day to sit in the shade and watch the horses. I did end up sunburned but that's just what comes with putting this white girl out of doors ...

But where was the WINE??

I need to know where we stand
Is this a symptom of
Us fallin' out of love
What happened to the romance?

Interestingly enough, I took AssRot's advice today (before I even knew he had given it to me). There was some BS going on at work and I made no secret that I thought it was exactly that ...

And I got called in to discuss my attitude

Perhaps I should find a nicer way of saying things ...

I Remember When
I Remember When
I Remember When I Lost My Mind...

Anyone remember that grad school burnout funk I was in for so long? Well you might want to get used to it again cuz I've landed myself back in class for the rest of the year ... and not by choice.

I really wanted to give it the ol' college try but it is just one clusterfuck of stupidity after another. I'd say at least a third of us are completely over it after only 2 weeks and find it increasingly difficult to even feign daily interest. In the disaffected circle our collective attitude has become one of incredulity with most every speaker.

So what's my response? I am currently avoiding my homework assignment (blogging has always come in handy for that task ... woohoo blogging!)

Can Ninja's Catch Colds?

Today is yet another workless Friday (hmm...maybe I should stop complaining about work so much?) I actually did have to go into work today (in a suit no less) but only for a half day ... the majority of which I was able to practice my shading skills as I doodled on the provided notepad.

But the afternoon off afforded me the ability to peruse my sitemeter. I have to say 1) I am truly shocked by the sheer volume of readers I have maintained during my funk (not that there were volumes to begin with ... but still...), and 2) honored by the quality of the readership that seems to keep stopping by.

So, for their entertainment ... Ask A Ninja...

The truths that we all tried to hide
Are so much clear when it's not our lives
We don't face the blame

AWTM is correct in her comments on the last post ... thanks to the world of hormone therapy, I have entered the world of an increasing bust size ...

... Something which I'm sure was pleasurable for the passers-by as I got caught in an absolute downpour this evening. I was nothing short of completely soaked ...

And now that I've lost the male population of the readership ... I'll keep going below the fold for the um, three readers that I have left?

I'm back to visiting the ICU on a regular basis.

I've done less crying this time, though I can't really explain why.

Perhaps it is because I am more focused on the disbelief, it makes living in denial easier ... maybe?

No, there is no denying a dying man left behind.

I am still the interloper. It is a role I have come to peace with. I'd be the one calling adult protective services if he weren't in the hospital right now. I'm slowly losing ties with the entire family as it is, so what's a little bit of anger?

I have stopped caring who is mad. When there is a simple, feasible, mild solution that could at least attempt to give someone a little bit of quality back in their life, I am ok with people being mad. At least then they'll keep their nose out of my business because they won't want anything to do with me.

I'm not interested in saving a person for the sake of saving them, just to prolong a life no one would want to live. That is not my decision to make. But I'm not going to listen to a doctor that was dead wrong in a major way from a hospital with a reputation for killing people make that decision either.

A hero of two wars and this is how his family thanks him ...

Do You Know What It Feels Like...?

If you ever want to have an uncomfortable day, just repeat mine from yesterday ...

Get a couple hours of sleep
Don't forget the hangover
Take a really bad taxi ride with 4 co-workers
Thank the driver for making all of you carsick
Get to the airport really early
Have your mentor text message you the "we need to talk"
Sleep in a non-reclining airline seat
Head straight for the vagina whisperer's office
Get stuck in traffic while you REALLY have to pee
Have an invasive procedure at the vagina whisperer's office
Go shopping for nothing, just because you're there already
Make sure your anesthetic wears off while you're there
Get stuck in traffic again on the way to dinner
Showing up before the restaurant opens is a definite must
Discuss your new feminine needs with your dad while at the pharmacy
Have your mom question the Dr and harass you about it until 11:30p

I suppose the day could have been worse, I could have gotten bad news from the doc.

This new doc was such an improvement over my previous experience that I almost didn't mind I was in so much pain (don't kid yourself either - it ain't gone). Well, ok...I mind the pain but I still really liked his style. I learned that there is nothing harmful going on and, in theory, what we are trying out should be a relatively simple solution to my problems (if mom will stop worrying so damn much).

I guess pulling favors and flying all the way across the country to see a doctor might be worth all the drama after all.

We All Want Something We Can't Have

I am off on travel for the week (late for the airport in fact)

I'll be in San Fran for most of the time - holy crap its been a long time since I've been there. From what I hear, it should be a good time (even if they are work people).

Then, due to my own issues with the vagina whisperers, I'm going to LA. This should be a trip through hell on so many fronts.
-One, a less than routine trip to the vagina whisperer that promises to be VERY painful (AWESOME!)
-Two, my mom is pissed off at me for pulling favors, bypassing the bitch of a whisperer here, and not being a more patient patient
-Three, I'll be staying at mom's house
-Four, I REALLY don't want to see my brother (or his handler), um at all ...

I swear I really am going to come back to regularly blogging one day. Maybe it will take having a lovely macbook to motivate me ...? Maybe it will just take having something other than drama to talk about ...

Posted by Princess Cat at 10:19 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Last time I checked in I promised pics of the kids ... well no dice just yet - no one has sent me any and I didn't take any.

Why not? I have a really good excuse ...

A weekend's worth of non-alcoholic induced vomiting
(seriously, it was the most I think I have ever puked in my entire life ... ever)

So you're just screwed on that one ... until one of my cousins sends me some pics and I remember to share ... so basically you're just screwed on that one.

I couldn't give a damn what you say to me
I don't really care what you think of me

In case anyone has missed it, I'm not a fan of my brother's girlfriend handler ... seriously ... HANDLER

I really don't like her even more now that lil bro is moving half way across the country and guess who is going with ...? No doubt to tell him how to do everything and what to think during this new phase of his life.

Even though she just bought a condo, has a job, is in school ... ?

I do not have many polite (or PC) things to say about her or the idea that she is growing more permanent by the day.

So now how do I politely convince my dad that I really do not care about the house he is going to buy for them? I do not care about the neighborhood, the number of bedrooms, how many bathrooms, the style of garage, or whether there is a fireplace!

If I'm not allowed to express a dissenting opinion, don't bring the topic to my table. I spend enough time biting my lip as it is.

what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure

I think I have become the poster child for why you should not take the bus to work, spend the day at work, go to the grocery store, take the bus home, and then walk to the taxi stand before getting stitches put in your toe.

We decided to leave them in longer than the standard 7-10 days cuz my toe just didn't want to heal right. The edges weren't seaming together really all that well ... bastard seams.

I took those suckers out tonight anyway ... a day shy of 2 weeks since they were put in ... mostly because I was tired of wrapping my foot in a bag every morning to shower and well, because going in to an office to have someone whip out a pair of tiny scissors is just retarded.

It is now clear to me just how bad the cut really was though. With the wound filling in from below and still having a little trench through my toe due to the non-seaming action, it appears the cut was much deeper than I originally or secondly thought.

Lesson of the day: When you experience white pain, bleed all over the bathroom floor, and need longer than 5 minutes to stop the bleeding ... you should probably not make the assumption that you can "walk it off"

But at least I can share a fresh scar with my little cousin who got stitches three days before me!

Fastlane ... Oh we just collided in the fast lane

Ah ... the stench of the familiar ... Shit for brains employees

I had a meeting with yet another bundle of red tape today and was nearly immediately glad to have worn my trusty boots.

A word to the bitch I was dealing with - When I have prior approval from your boss, I don't give two shits whether you agree with their decision or not. When you're the boss, you can make the calls. Until then, keep your unimportant opinions to your ghetto-ass-self.

I was essentially told by an underling that she would do what she could to get her bosses decision overturned because she didn't agree with it. I politely told her that if my applications were denied based on that tenet, I would become quite annoying to her office.

She didn't seem to quite understand and later threatened me again, throwing that someone else could overturn the decision. I again politely let her know that I would not take that kind of an assault lying down.

So she threatened me again with an official board meeting.

Seriously? Don't challenge me. I won't back down and I always come armed. And I usually win. Even if I have to take a win by submission.

So You Want To Be Saved But All Your Friends Are Villians

You know you've had a rough day when you open a piece of chocolate and the wrapper says:

I really reached the end of my rope today at work. The things that pass as acceptable behavior and the bureaucracy of something as simple as one human being taking care of another is enough to make the most stable person cry. (And what do we know about my stability ... especially in reference to crying ...?) I did manage to hold it together ... surprisingly ... in case you were wondering.

As suicidal as it would be for my future in the industry, I had to fight the urge to take my ID and put it through the shredder harder than I ever believed possible. What is the point in doing good deeds if you go insane doing them?

If you'll excuse me, I have some alcohol to drink and furniture to rearrange.

The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

Woohoo! I didn't fall asleep at my desk today! (or in a staff meeting)

I chalk it up less to the fact that I went to bed at 9pm last night and more to the fact that I only spent 3.5 hrs at my desk throughout the whole day.

Either way ... victory for me

Now where are my shades ...?

Let The Rain Fall Down And Wake My Dreams

Today is evidence of two things:

1) Further proof that I made the right choice staying OUT of the miltary.
2) I soooo have got to get more sleep. A few hours cuts it when being entertained (perhaps entertaining as well) but it is not sufficient for the long days of staring at an uncooperative screen.

I was stuck for an extra 20-30 minutes commuting home from work and I could not keep my eyes open...quite literally.

I hate sleeping in public while alone - even on planes. I will close my eyes but not genuinely sleep. Today, I tried doing my sudoku and gave up after I kept losing my place to drooping eyelids. I put my head on the window and closed my eyes. The next thing I knew I was jerking myself upright again from actual sleep (repeat scene ~5 times).

Thank god there is someone else doing the driving.

Tommy, Tell Me Have You Seen The Light

Answers to Tough Questions (Written by kids):

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.

-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.

-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.

-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

-- Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.

-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

-- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.

-- Ricky, age 10

We've Got A New Bitch In The Family!!

Despite the fact that he never blogs (like he's busy or something), Telebush has a new puppy and needs help naming her. She's a mix of border collie, husky, and a little german shepard. Head on over and leave him a comment with your suggestion(in any thread really since its so stale over there).

And while you're running around ... go check these guys out:

Wired All Wrong

I've got their song "Elavatin" stuck on mental repeat (and it just so happens that I did my high school days right near where they call home)

Don't You Know This Misery Loves Me?

Today's Horoscope:
Take a look back at something that happened recently that left a sour taste in your mouth. You'll realize you were not at fault.

SWEET! Even the cosmos think I can blame someone else for my problems these days. Who says stars don't align?

Desperation
There's danger in frustration
Complicated words slipping off of your tongue and ain't one of them the truth

I've spent the last 3 days with 9.5 hrs of attempting to keep myself semi-conscious without the benefit of the internet or a television, very limited news sources, severely limited email access, oh ... and no work to do. Unfortunately, I keep being told this is "normal" and I can expect many more of these days.

Seriously?

How on earth do they expect me to keep from throwing myself into the giant plate glass windows and getting tangled in their permanently drawn blinds as I tumble to my ultimate state of maim if they keep this up?

The four story drop and glass just might kill me ... if I'm having a particularly lucky day...

It Was A Different Life
When We Were Boys and Girls
Not Just A Different Time
It Was A Different World

I don't know about anyone else's week, but mine ... it was a huge let down.

But then again, that seems to be a pattern around these parts. Lots of anticipation and excitement, expectations high ... only to discover nothing is as you thought it would be. Not. even. close. We don't need to rehash my miserably disappointing experience in grad school as evidence, do we?

Is it any wonder I don't really allow myself to be excited all that often? There just doesn't seem to be much point.

Oh, and I have reconfirmed my position on people as a whole ... with a few notable exceptions ... people suck.

My Salary Didn't Go Up
But You Just Might Get A Kink-Fest

After the lunch I had today, I think these may become more "appropriate" shoes for work ...

I leave to your imagination what it will be like for me to show you where they go

I'm Pretty Sure Its a Bad Thing When The Crap In Your Nose Turns Green

Yes, yes ... I know I left you loyal minions supporters without much to read for far too long. But I have my reasons!

- I'm getting ready for the Milblog Conference, putting my psudo-Kinko's uniform on again to make sure you all are informed once you get here. (Cuz you're all coming, right?)

- I've been shopping ... shopping my fat ass off for a big time coming up. And we all know how much I love shopping. I swear, I don't know what the hell designers are thinking. I find pants that are georgeous, long, and just downright perfect, except the waist goes up to my chest. Or ... I find a jacket that curves just right, hits at all the right spots, except the sleeves are a couple inches too short. Or ... I find the perfect shoe, in the wrong color. I just love shopping ...

- I'm sick ... again. I don't know what it is. I had it a month ago. I had it last year for a good several weeks. Last night, I had such terrible pain from the fluid trapped in my ear that I had to get up and take a shower just to ease it off a little. It worked temporarily. And a doc appt? Does little miss has-a-$2500-deductible-and-no-copays here look like she's made of money? I don't think so.

She Just Needs Someone To Take Her Home

Ok, I've been engaging in some serious blog neglect ... I just haven't been here. I'm not really sure where I've been ... it just wasn't here.

I told one of my co-workers last week, its really starting to feel like I just can't catch a break. The minute there is a chance for something to go awry, it does. Sometimes things still work out in the end (not holding my breath that the bedding shows up, despite the hold on my credit card), sometimes they don't. It still feels like the universe is off kilter and the dominos just can't help but fall over, no matter how many times I keep setting them back up.

I left work early about a week and a half ago to make sure that someone wasn't going to be left in the ER and would actually get admitted to the hospital for his pneumonia. 16 hrs after he arrived, in the middle of the night, they found him a bed.

A week later, just as they were ready to send him to a nursing home for daily physical therapy to get some strength back, a surgeon drops the bomb that he needs to be in the OR Monday. A CT scan found an abdominal mass, a liver mass, and fluid in the abdomen. Whaaa? We thought he has pnumonia ... where did a surgeon come from??

His family and my family both went into overdrive trying get ok with the idea that surgery would happen, to find out if this surgeon had the credentials to make that call, and to get him in the hands of someone who was more specialized. Turns out he wasn't just some schmuck with a scalpel but a transfer to a different hospital was ultimately decided.

Monday has come and gone. No surgery has happened, the transfer hasn't happened, no assessment has been made by the new hospital. I really want to be hopeful and positive, for the sake of everyone involved, but I am beginning to feel like a magnet for all things that can go wrong.

V-Day 2007

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

I know, I know ... its a holiday invented by Hallmark and you really should be telling your lovely that you love them everyday in little special ways ... but just go with it people.

Get a card at least.

Make someone else's day even if you think it is a crap smooch fest meant only to alienate and embitter the singles of the world.

And don't forget to smile ... you never know who might notice

Its Hard To Launch Without Knowin How To Land

It has been one of those weeks ...

I honestly have to just laugh because once again I feel like I couldn't even make this stuff up. But it wouldn't be my life if it didn't go that way ... would it?

I've done my share of crying too with a lot on my mind that I just don't feel like talking about ... hence the no blogging.

Cross your fingers that Thursday doesn't start the way Tuesday and Wednesday did ...

Workin At The Carwash ...

I think I could have started a carwash in my laundry room tonight ...
or turned it into a super slippery porn set...

A brand new, unopened bottle of concentrated laundry detergent bound from my supra-vibe dyer, onto the floor, spewing its contents everywhere (and even getting some splash distance up on the wall).

It took an entire roll of paper towels to get the mess mopped up.

Who knew laundry was so exciting for the supplies ...

(The Christina version just seemed to have the right level of SLUT to go with the theme of the post, don't you think?)

Traded In & Sexed Up

I have been dreading the time when this day would come. I have broken the law for over two years putting it off ...

I have officially given up my last claim of California citizenship (as pretend as it was at this point) and gotten a new ID. They confiscated my old ID with my magical expiration date (06-06-06) like the damn Nazis that they are. Nazis ...

To make myself feel better, I had sushi for dinner
:::waves to the motherland:::
:::waves to Miss Teacher:::

The upside is, I can go drinking without my passport now (and I have a MUCH cuter photo to show off)

The New and The Old, Still Purple

So the New Year is finally here ... and I happily have kicked the Old Year to the curb (seems to be a trend over the last couple of years, doesn't it?) Although, despite my best attempts to think that something dramatic changed at 00:01 a couple of days ago, I don't really think it did.

BUT.... My New Year's Eve soirée went off quite well. I have a TON of food left though. What's with you people? Don't you ever eat?

So I am back to my current obsession of picking paint chips and trying to nail down a color scheme for the master suite. I found the most fantastic bedding, but they do not make it for the dinky bed I was forced to buy when I moved into that match box I used to live in. I am tempted to buy it "for the future" while it is on sale for nearly half price but the rational me has thought better than to spend currently tight finances like that. But look at how comfy it looks!!

And the idea of suede finish paint in the bedroom just sounds divine ... but then that brings us back to the problem of high ceilings and faux finishes. Dammit!

At Least My Tree Is Still Pretty

As some are lamenting the passing of Christmas, I am left with two feelings: 1) counting the days until it is gone, and 2) wondering why everything has to be shoved all into one day to be so great.

I haven't received all of my presents yet, though I've sent out all of mine. Really, I'm ok with that. Presents a few days before, a few days after, maybe even a week or two ... who doesn't like getting a present on a random day of the week?

I sort of hate Christmas though because it just shows how little my family pays attention. I really want the season to be over because I am irked by the reminders of those that did it half way but wanted full credit. I have had several jewelry discussions with mom but still, she bought what is her style, not mine. Granted, they are pretty but they are not what I would buy for myself. Discussion after discussion just goes in one ear and out the other with dad, so why I still think telling him specifically what I want matters, I have no idea.

Now before you go calling me ungrateful, I would never make a list of requests if they didn't ask for one. They pressure and pester until I finally put together a list. I try to be reasonable in the cost of things and practical in the requests (seriously ... I put a trash can on my wish list this year ... $26.99 from Target.com ... no where to be found) Some of the same things show up on it every year, but they are never the ones purchased. The items that I express a special need or desire for are the ones left out (canisters for my flour and sugar would come in kinda handy here people!!) And inevitably I get the gift that is sort of what I asked for, but not it. So why the hell do I take the time to a) make the list, and b) get specific in the items requested. You people are going to buy whatever it is you want to buy anyway ...

And don't get me started on my brother ... $10 perfume? WTF!?!

Christmas In The Princess Palace

It is my first house, my first tree (since I moved out of my parents house 8 years ago), my first sofa, and my first Christmas without my family ...

Doesn't it look GREAT?!?

... and from the second floor ...

**just ignore the blue thing in the background - that is the old loveseat I was using as a couch before the new baby came to town on Tuesday. Oh, and ignore the oddly non-retro outdated coffee table - yet another loaner piece of furniture.

Do You Want the Good News Or The Bad News? Cuz I'm Running Out of Good ...

I know, I know ... I said I'd be back Tuesday and I wasn't (goes to show what you guys know, I flew in Monday night :-P) ... But world peace is never going to happen and my hopes for semi-regional, transitive peace within my own personal space are quickly being dashed this season ... again ...

Lil Bro was of course an ass while on the trip ... albeit not a giant ass this time ... but still an ass

And I hadn't even made it back to DC yet before it dawned on me that my dad had probably gotten his head confused with his ass again. Last night it was confirmed and I'm beginning to think he's had his head permanently affixed up there. What compelled him to put his wife's name on the presents he mailed, I have no idea ... but I'm not opening them without a sincere apology and an understanding that she is in no way allowed in my life. Period. No exceptions. Done. No hablo ingles.

Then, I get an email that someone's in the hospital again. Nothing huge, just pneumonia (like every winter) but what a crappy time to get it.

So I am fuming and cooking, cooking and fuming ...

When I stop, I'll put up some pictures of the sofa that has finally arrived

Just Go Find Me A Weeping Willow and I'll Be Fine

I should be a fairly good mood these days ... the trial is over, my family drama is over there instead of in my face, the house is painted, I get to see the good family again next weekend, there are red bows and blinky lights decorating the living room ...

But still, I'm struggling to keep out of this terrible funk

No word from the last interview ... that can't be good
The "ideal" roommate bailed out ... so back to square one on that front
No Christmas shopping done ... so going to end up screwing myself on this one
Leaky pipe in the bathroom
Leaky toilet in the other bathroom
Missing cabinet screw
More laundry than Macy's has clothes
A headache that just won't go away

It just feels like it never ends. One little thing can ruin my day entirely. Hell, when the roommate bailed yesterday I went for the carton of ice cream ... did I mention all the spoons were in the dishwasher that hasn't been run? So I sat on the couch trying not to cry eating straight out of the carton with a fork. Yes, a fork.

And I'm dreading Friday. A friend wants to go out dancing and all I can think of is, I'm broke, its cold, its windy, I don't have a trendy thing to wear in order to even attempt to compete with the skanky little bitches that will be there ... yeah, I'm real excited about the idea. Do we not recall I like jeans and boots kind of going out dancing?

All I'm asking for is for just one piece of the chaos to fall into place. Just one ... why is that so much to ask?

The Princess Palace Has Been Painted

The Living Room ...

BEFORE:

AFTER:

The Dining Room ...

BEFORE:

AFTER:

And there are more pics to come! It was a very busy weekend...

Time To Get A Move On

I had no idea it was this late in the year. Last time I looked it was July. How did this happen?

I don't have anything purchased for Christmas. Hell, I don't have a clue on what to purchase, let alone gone to look for it - online or otherwise. Doesn't look like there's much time to do handmade gifts, unless I'm going to bake stuff.

I don't have my plane tickets for the extended family pre-Christmas Christmas (as opposed to their usual post-Christmas Christmas)

I don't have a thing to make my house look like Christmas - except for a Santa skating across a block of ice that someone bought for me from Cracker Barrel - and I have no idea where I'm going to find the money to make it feel like Christmas.

Looks like time to get a move on

We Were Born To Lead

I am ashamed of myself today - It is election day and I will not be voting...

Not voting goes against everything I believe in.

One of the many things that slipped through the cracks this year was updating my voter registration after the move. I almost got around to it several times ... but almost doesn't count in elections.

I will kick myself if the election does not go the way I want it to but I have no one to be mad at but myself. I didn't get my priorities straightened out in time and have relinquished my rights to those that did. I have offered the power to decide my community's laws to those using their freedom. I can only hope that enough of those people see the issues the same way I do.

Don't make the same mistake I did ... exercise your freedom, own your rights, and use the power this country gave you to make your community a better place.

Go vote today

UPDATE: (7:50pm)
I went to my polling place and I was able to vote after all! Thanks for the head's up, CalTechGirl!

Stay At Home Boredom

A post ... a post ... a post, a post, a post ...

I know there is one in here somewhere.

Mostly just the same things to bitch about:

- God does not want me to have a sofa (one store was out of business, one store was closed all weekend due to a power outage, one store didn't carry any furniture at all when they advertised they did, another store told me a completely different story than an alternate location of the same chain ... stupid furniture)

- My excitement for the day? A new vacuum! It does work well ... but seriously? This is my excitement?

This day has to get better

Weekend Update ... Without Anyone Funny (Or Tina Fey)

The wedding was ... um ... wedding-y

The reception was much better. One of the groomsmen forgot to stay behind for photos and then couldn't find the location where the photos were being taken, so they left him out entirely. We're still making fun of him for it. I did also meet a very fun couple that lives in PA ... so I'm hoping to hang out with them one of these weekends (maybe if I ever have that housewarming party, right?)

Today, I stumbled accidentally upon what I may have decided is my new sofa (I know, I know ... you've heard me say that before, but I mean it a lot more this time ... except for the price tag). They are asking $170 for delivery - frankly sounds to me like highway robbery. Other stores have quoted me less than half that for an equal number of pieces of the same size. And a 6-8 week wait for my custom fabric is not really very conducive to a warm and cozy (or comfortable) housewarming party.

And now, I am tired. Weddings and shopping are hard work.

Damn I've got a great attitude at 6 am

Amidst the height of my sofa dilemma ... which means I have looked and looked and am tired of looking and just want to buy something somewhat within my what-I-though-were-reasonable parameters ... I am off to a wedding.

Have I mentioned I not a big fan of said functions?

I'll be that girl in strappy shoes in 49 degree weather ... cuz 1) my shoe selection sucks, and 2) I just didn't give a crap enough to buy a special outfit for this wedding

Headed Out For Nap Time

I made it through this fire and only came out with a few minor burns, so I guess that advice was pretty good.

Dad's came to town for the weekend too, so now it is time to relax.

Until Monday, when I face another interview ...

You Know, I Expected So Much More From You

Anyone who has been here for a while knows - I don't have the greatest relationship with my family. We are working on it, but there are still issues. And don't think it's just me - my mom, dad, and brother all live within 5 minutes of each other and I think their relationships are just as dysfuntional as the ones I have with each of them.

In general, I think my biggest issue with the families that grate on my last nerve is the monumental hypocracy that goes on within them. They treat family members with less respect than they would anyone else on the planet and then say, "but I'm family!"

Don't buy a plane ticket and THEN tell me when you're coming. You'll find yourself sleeping in a hotel and doing a self-guided tour of the things you wanted to see.

Don't try to monopolize my holidays. I will spend them where I think I should. There are more people in the world that I care about than the people I am most closely genetically matched to. And if that one day matters to you so much, quit making me go to all the effort.

Don't think for a minute that that annoying whine of 'but I'm family' will buy you one ounce of exception. I don't give a shit who's family you're from ... if you wouldn't do it to your neighbor or your best friend, what makes you think it is ok to do it to me?? Period. End of Discusion.

(And that goes double for any potential in-laws that ever happen upon this as well)

Touchdown Turnaround Everything Is Safe And Sound
Everywhere And Everytime I Am Yours And You Are Mine

Lookie what surprise came in the mail today ...

They are flip flops AND they are purple! What more could a girl want?!?

And as if that weren't enough, they are sooo squishy and comfortable!!!

Although, somewhat slippery as I almost busted my ass trying to walk across the hardwood floor in them.

Cuteness takes practice, yo.

Round Every Bend I Only See Just How Far I Haven't Come

That unconventional interview I had? Worthless...

I checked in yesterday and this morning received the gentle response:

If it is alright with you, I am going to keep your resume in my list for future projects and I shall contact you if we are taking on a project that fits your skill set and experience.

At least I don't have to face the 4 hrs commuting everyday ...

Standing Outside The Fire

After much prodding from my dad, I finally broke down and bought one of those fire safes that's supposed to offer a half hour of protection for whatever items of value that you can fit in the heavy little sucker.

I have always seen the value in them, to a degree, but I never really thought I had anything worth putting in one. Boy was I wrong. I'm finding all kinds of important things to put in there.

And graduation money I forgot I had ... score!

Disconnects

Do you ever have one of those mornings where you just can't get your fingers to type the things that your brain is thinking?

I typed the correct username and incorrect password three times this morning ... in a row. I was thinking of the correct password, but my fingers kept autopiloting to the keys for a different one. Three different incorrect passwords, I might add.

As it was happening, I thought to myself, "why am I typing the wrong password?" But my fingers kept right on going ... they even jumped on the enter key before I could reign them in.

I think I must have a loose wire or something ... my brain needs a little jiggle.

F U Monster

I've set up a little search agent with Monster.com that is supposed to e-mail me with jobs I might be interested in. So, I open my email this morning and find one from them. I think to myself, "Cool. Maybe today I'll find something more than I did yesterday." It is a service that would be really helpful to job seekers ...

... if the information were timely!

The email this morning told me all about a two day job fair, that ended yesterday.

Thanks a lot, Dickwads. You were a huge help on that one.

ER Blogging

I've been a fairly loyal fan of ER for many years now. I've watched the characters come and go and the storylines change, but this season has almost convinced me to change the channel on Thursday nights.

Last week's episode was entirely in Africa. An entire hour of political, social commentary on the situation in Darfur. This is not what I watch ER for. At first I thought to myself, "they'll get back to Chicago after the commercial," but every commercial went by and the show went right back to Darfur.

I started yelling at the TV, literally. I was so pissed.
And to top it off, it isn't even subtle commentary!

Last night's episode had characters screaming lefty drivel at Soldiers who were there to notify a doctor that her husband had been killed in action. I get that people are angry when their friends die, but do we need multiple characters to burst into screaming fits about how they think the war is wrong?

I get it ER writers - you're anti-Iraq, you're pro-Darfur - how about not insult my intelligence about it, ok?

In fact, I'm almost pissed off enough to just stop watching NBC all together ...

Holy Stale Update, Batman!

Looks like the life of an unemployed, job seeking graduate is much busier than I had imagined it might be.

I've been doing my best at cleaning out the crap from my life and organizing the rest, but alas ... I am Queen of the Packrats. Overhauling this mess is nothing short of a thank-less, tedious, burden. But I am making progress...

- several department store bags full of clothes donated to a women's shelter
- several large bags filled with trash
- papers sorted to determine scratch from important (since I try not to throw away paper still good enough for the printer)
- academic papers from graduate school hole punched & bound

But there are still 3 or 4 piles of paper in my room that have yet to be dealt with. Ugh!

Today though, I got to see my lovely Miss Teacher from San Diego - She's in town with students from her school. Seeing good people like her is a good kind of busy.

Tomorrow ... another job fair ...

Et tu, Ticketmaster?

I've spent the majority of my day planning a graduation/birthday trip to New York. There is a broadway show I actually want to see and ticketmaster won't let me. But at least they were honest about how they treat their customers (this time) ...

Who's The Moron That Paid For This Study?

Science Says Guys With Sex on the Brain Do Stupid Things

Uh... DUH!

The researchers are conducting experiments to find a similar effect in women, but have yet to find a visual stimulus that mars their ability to make good decisions.

Just face is guys ... we women are more advanced creatures, in every way ...

Ms. Bed Bunny

To my roommate's bed buddy:

Did I miss something, or did you start paying part of the utilities?

Ordinarily I wouldn't really care so much, especially since you being at my house all the time seems to keep my roommate from pestering me about things. You know, he really can be annoying about his festidious habits and expecting others to follow suit. And what's the deal with you two anyway? Are you back together? Are you friends with benefits? Have you become so annoying that his lack of personality is the only way anyone hangs out with you? Or do you just give really good head and that's why he puts up with you?

But anyhow, you used up all the hot water again this morning and I had to go to work without washing my hair. And I'm just a little miffed about it. What the hell are you doing in there every morning? You're in the shower at least as long as I am on a slow day and I have twice the hair to wash that you do. I mean, seriously, if you want to bang yourself in the shower - can you do it at your own place? There's no reason to punish me because the boy you chose to jump in bed with can't get the job done. (Trust me here readers, he either got a new bed or he ain't getting the job done ... and I haven't noticed a new bed come in the house recently...)

So back to the utilities thing ... the company is really stickin it to me with a saguaro over here. I can deal with taking cold showers, we've all had to do it. But having to pay the rediculous utility bills and then not even get hot water out of the deal is just too much for me to handle.

In summary, keep your chi chis out of my hot water or fork over the dough, Missy.

<3 Princess Cat

P.S. Cute purse!

How...

Just how is it possible that I continue to wake up more tired than when I went to sleep, yet don't remember ever waking up?*

I don't know ... but it sure is one hell of a pain in the ass

*No, its not sleep apnea...

Chicken, sans Head

That's me these days ... running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Dad's been in town since Friday so I've been trying to spend a little bit of time with him...

Been trying to look at options for moving some time over the summer...

Saw the cherry blossoms again before the rain takes them away...

Met up with a cousin I haven't seen since he graduated from college, at least 20 years ago...

Pushing for an employment position where I'm interning (and not having much luck)...

Debating the future of my career, or lack there of ...

And that was just the last 4 days. Lord help me to survive this week.

I Get Knocked Down...

I can't believe the weekend is over already. I want more weekend, I want the week to never start, but I want this weekend to end. It's been the longest, short weekend I've had in a while...much more emotionally charged than I would have expected as well...

St Patty's was fun - found a cool new coverband, and learned that I can't stand drunk chicks as lead singers. But then again, I'm somewhat perma-grump right now with this worsening cold so maybe I'm being to hard on her. You see, I hardly ever get genuinely sick so I tend to be pretty pissed off about it when I am. I starting treating this cold pretty early, but the bastard is hanging on strong. Anyway, I wasn't the only one that wanted to strangle her with the mic cord, so I blame her, not the cold.

... it's been a month now since Grandma was killed. I keep finding little reminders of her and more frustrations from my family on how the loose ends are being tied up. The criminal case seems to be moving, but nothing has really happened yet to know how well it is going. It is still hard to believe she is really gone though.

Nickelback's "Savin Me" video was an unexpected reminder of all of it for me though ... for those of you who've seen it, maybe you know what I'm talking about ... people have an invisible countdown above their heads, marking the time until they die. In the video, an elderly woman that appears uninjured is put into an ambulance ... with 11 seconds counting down above her head. I sat there in bed watching, then covered my head and burst into tears.

I tell you, if it isn't a tree or germs knocking me on my ass these days, it's some kind of emotional side tackle I didn't see coming ...

... but I get up again ...

Paul(a) Bunyan

So, I'm not so much sick as much as I'm donning seven bandages...

It all started when was over at a friend's house getting ready to run errands ...

cue flashback music and squiggly lines

The dog needed to go out and do his business before we left, so I took him out the backdoor to a small wooded area. He peed on a few things but I was trying to encourage him to do it other business as well. It was all downhill from there ...

He saw a little dog on the other side of the fence that runs through the trees and went straight for it. I was pulled straight for the trees.

I did what I could to keep this dog from jumping the fence and eating the little dog, but he was determined and I was unprepared. I was caught off guard and wearing the wrong shoes ... flip flops ... I had no time to brace myself or get any traction in the rocks and dead leaves.

The dog hit the fence, I hit the trees. I even knocked one down ... with my face ... and found myself smacked into a few others before landing on the ground in an akward pile ... wondering how many of the neighbors were peeking through their windows to see about the loud crash they just heard ...

fade out flashback

Needless to say, my body is a little sore from the tumble. My cuts and scrapes are bandaged and my bruises still freshly tender. Thus, I am home "sick."

Looking back, it's pretty damn funny ... and how many people can say they took a tree out with their face? Just call me Paula Bunyan, but boy do I ache!

Sick Day

So ... I find myself home "sick" today ...

I'd love to share why, but it's time to go back to bed.

I'll be back in a few hours ...

Rough Idle

No need to check under the hood ... I'll save you the trouble. I'm attempting to readjust my sleep schedule and I'm simply just not a morning person. An evil second only to morning, I just don't like being woken up once I have gone to sleep. Period.

I took some Tylenol PM to make myself go to sleep last night and grew frustrated as I couldn't feel it working. Finally I just crawled into bed and laid there. I have no idea how long it took me to fall asleep but within 30 mins my dad called, waking me up. I was confused and disoriented, apparently I had been out cold ... a hypothesis confirmed by the puddle of drool on my pillow.

I ended up going back to sleep, only to wrestle with anxiety for the rest of the night. Did I forget to mention that sleep aids and I don't always play nice? I took NyQuill once in college and woke up in a cold sweat, practically screaming from the panic it put me in.

After a fitful night of repeatedly waking up scared I finally got up at my prescribed (much too early) time. I was determined not to let this morning thing get in my way of a good day. Since then I've managed to get several phone calls from my arriving guest saying that her flight from NY keeps getting delayed due to our fog here. Grrr. I could have stayed in bed! And at this rate... another 4 hours too!!

Instead, I'm sitting here with my breakfast and tea trying to fight off a nasty headache. There are far too many people to see and too much fun to be had for me to get a damn migrane today.

Just Don't Steal My Panties

As I was helping The Blogless Wonder get ready to leave town, I noticed three of my T-shirts were in his laundry. Not T-shirts that I had worn that later found their way into his laundry, T-shirts that he had borrowed from my dresser and later put in his laundry. Then I noticed a sweatshirt of mine ... a pair of my socks ... my fleece...

And then I realized, if dudes are starting to steal my clothes ... my wardrobe is far too unisex and consists of far too many 'fat clothes'

I think it's time to go shopping...

What Was That Road Paved With Again?

You know that handbasket Eric is over there pontificating about? I seem to have found one of my own...

Things with mom have completely gone to shit. Things with dad have gone farther downhill. Lil bro has gone back to his I'm-far-too-busy-for-family lifestyle. Friends in town have apparently fallen off the planet, for whatever reason.

The plans to go to San Fran seem to be scrapped - which isn't a huge disappointment - but it puts me in an odd bind of where to spend the rest of my time out here in Cali. For the first time in my life, I'm anxious to get back to DC. I am antsy to have my space back, where I can think or experience my feelings without being observed or interrogated.

... I fully grasp that all this stress and drama is due in part to my willingness to confront people on uncomfortable issues, things they don't want to see or talk about. But personally, I'd rather put my cards on the table than just sit quietly by. Because how can I expect anyone to understand how their actions affect others if I never tell them? At least there is hope when you speak up. Silence guarantees nothing but more of the same...

"But if history teaches anything, it teaches that simpleminded appeasement or wishful thinking about our adversaries is folly. It means the betrayal of our past, the squandering of our freedom." -- Ronald Reagan

United Ghetto Airlines

Can someone please tell me when United Airlines became the airline dedicated to uniting each and every ghetto by putting a representative population on every flight? Cuz it's a stupid idea...

I was so excited to be on a 777 last night, with an aisle seat no less. There was no way this flight could suck. It was even direct!

Oh dear sweet holy Hannah was I wrong...

My entire row was filled with spoiled hood rats and a fobby bitch. Call me racist if you like, but these people were every bit those derogatory terms. Three kids who looked like their crack whore mother had married rich were playing with every high tech toy imaginable... at high volume. The parents were on the plane somewhere, just not anywhere reasonably close. The DVD player didn't have headphones ... because they all had to watch it at the same time. God forbid they watch one of the other seven video entertainment channels provided by the airline... did you hear me? I said SEVEN! Oh, and then there's the flight attendant call button... That thing rang so many times I lost count. And not just a *ding* (wait patiently) ... No, I heard *ding* (2 seconds) *ding* (2 seconds) *ding* ... It was ridiculous. The flight attendants were pissed. And you know what these hood rats wanted? More peanuts and Mt. Dew.

And the fobby bitch? Ugh... The kind that wears contacts so her eyes are a different color than is ever going to happen in her race and a trucker hat that says "take a number" while giving everyone she sees the "Ugh, what the hell do you think you are even looking at?" To which I think, "how retarded you look cuz it certainly isn't anything else... you look like a 10 yr old boy in girl's clothes!" All I heard from this bitch was "excuse me" "excuse me" "EXCUSE ME!" every time I fell asleep, every time the flight attendant walked by, every time the kid next to her breathed wrong...

And don't even get me started on the third world conference that impeded me from picking up my luggage in a timely fashion. These damn 'I-refuse-to learn-English-because-I-swam-here-fair-and-square' little pricks literally squeezed themselves between me and the conveyor belt. I was so pissed by this point that once one of the moved I shoved myself in between them and then I yanked my bags off the carousel each with one hand and carried them out that way, one in each hand ... in addition to holding my coat and a shopping bag, and wearing my backpack. And of course on my way out I did my best 'get-the-fuck-out-of-my-goddamn-way' look and my best 'I-will-so-seriously-kick-your-ass-if-you-even-think-of-fucking-with-me' walk. The tatted up, pierced, dressed in black, hardcore band looked at me like "whoa... let's not mess with this chick"

It was NOT a good flight

On Laptops

Seems as though Dad has tasked me to find out which of the thousand laptops on the market is worth buying. I hate asking for help from you all, but... anyone know anything about these confusing creatures?

He's looking for a lightweight, normal sized model with decent battery life.

In fact, he had his heart set on the VIAO 670B/P until he realized it was a little too tiny to do much work on.

So, can anyone with some info hook me up? I'll totally owe you!

Stretched Thin

Apparently the final stretch of the semester and work, piled on top of a mountain of personal shit, has gotten to me more than I imagined it had...

In the last several days...

I have forgotten a whole slew of basic things I am kicking myself in the ass for being a fucktard about..

I forgot how to add (11+2 does not equal 11... so the cashier at the restaurant tells me)...

I left my tupperware containers and my favorite fleece at the bar on Friday...

and I forgot to send in the rebates for the new hard drive...

I'm effin' losing it

I love ya'll, but I am going to be getting some serious sleep the next couple of days. If you can't find me, check my bed or my couch... I'm probably crashed on one of them...

Disconnected

There was a good portion of my day today where I simply refused to be available... to anyone that didn't really want my attention, that is. I didn't open outlook and I didn't check any of the mail I have on webservers. And to tell you the truth, I kinda liked it.

You see, if you have my phone number, but you e-mail me anyway... I sometimes get the feeling that what you had to say wasn't all that damn important. Sometimes I'm right, the emails don't have much important to say. Sometimes I make that judgement call myself and just slap the label on there specifically because you chose to email the contents instead of call. Most of the time when that happens, people have their story all lined up already...

- I was too busy to talk so I just sent of a quick email instead...

- I wanted to talk to you but I didn't want to interrupt what you were doing...

- I thought maybe it would be better if we didn't talk so I just emailed it off instead...

Do you see a trend here? My thoughts on those stories...If it were that damn important to you, you wouldn't have been too busy, you would have risked interrupting, or you would have put your balls on the line and tried to talk about it. But apparently whatever it is you had to say just wasn't...

So if its not that damn important to you, I'm not going feel bad for being disconnected for a few hours of sanity.

Those of you without my number, I apologize...

The HEAD Librarian has Left the Building

Alright, that does not mean you get to mess up the periodicals section and if I see anyone in "Special Collections" with coffee I will tell. Last time it took weeks to get the stains out of the leather harnesses and restraints.... er... Leatherbound volumes! I meant leatherbound volumes!

As you can figure out, the Princess is off to the West Coast to enjoy herself among an onslaught of Marines. Pity them, they know not what they face should they show the slightest sign of weakness. *pounce!*

In the meantime I believe we'll be seeing a few guests here, including the Red Hot Martha Stewart (who has her hands full already with Dash and Pink Ninja) and myself, the little brother.

Can we replace her? heck no. But it will be fun trying out her stuff.

Note to self: Shave legs before putting on the stockings and don't look directly at the garters. If those things snap loose again, you could lose an eye.

Back in Black

Army Wife Toddler Mom wrote a few weeks ago about the hell otherwise known as "THE MALL." Today, I share a portion of her pain. I didn't have to try to shop with two children uninterested in how nice mommy's ass looks in the mirror... but I still had to go dress shopping...

Why would I torture myself in such a horrendous manner? For very good reason...

In less than a week I will continue the celebration of the Marine's 230th birthday by attending a Marine Corps Ball. And you know, I can't possibly think of a better way to spend a Thursday night. Single little me + a room full of Marines in full blues = GOOD TIMES. But I digress...

My red dress does not quite flatter me the way it once did so I had to resort to the back up - a black dress also hanging in my closet. It fit but it was not what I was looking for. It was more appropriate for a business gala than a military ball. Thus, a trip to the mall was in order.

Before I left I swore I would not spend a dime on another black dress. I did not want a black dress. While classy and timeless, black is boring and unadventurous. I refused to fly across the entire country just so I could walk into a room wearing the same color as half the other women there. I am going to this ball to make an enterance, dammit! I would not wear black unless I absolutely had to.

1 afternoon, 3 department stores, 1 shoe store, 20 dresses, and 10 pair of shoes later, I returned home with a decent ensemble I think I can use to flirt away the night.

. . .

and it's black

Just Hit Me...

I'm serious. The next time I put up a post about how its going to be a good day and things are looking up ... just hit me (or spank me...if you've passed the interview...)

It was an all around bizzare, twilight zone kind of day.

Several people emailed me with their Wednesday woes that seemed like they could only happen on such an evil day.

The Queen of Perfectionism (um, yeah, that's me) screwed up some number at work last week and the results have already been published to the entire office. D'oh!

Captain Parachute (yeah, that's my boss... he's always threatening to jump out the window) decided to doubt my number running abilities as a result of the aforementioned screw up and wants to trash the entire system of calculation. Bastard!

Had a series of brain freezes while running one of my weekly reports which prompted a series of stupid questions. Has someone stamped 'Schmuck' on my head yet?

Captain Parachute fell asleep last night and didn't do his homework for class (oh, he's 26 and in a Masters program too) so he asked me to do part of it. Which I wasn't really comfortable with, but I did since I finished all of my work by 11am. And then when I went to lunch and didn't get it done early enough he acted like I was being a slack ass. Fucker!

Class was lame (as usual) but especially shitty because the guy who was supposed to present wasn't there. He had some kind of family crisis and has actually withdrawn from the program all together.

The cable guy did come to fix the digital box but it didn't really make up for the rest of the day.

Make It Through

The evil Wednesday has befallen us...again...

But there are two very important days to remember this week: The Marine Corps Birthday, and Veteran's Day. A lot of people will have Friday off. And Valor-IT is still running their fundraiser you really should harass everyone you know to donate to.

Even if it had a rocky start, I don't think this week is so bad.

So keep the good things in mind and make it through your Wednesday...tomorrow will be better, I promise.

We Tried To Tell You

Mr Free Market has put up proof that all men should finally be able to understand. You are simply not meant to win an argument. The sooner you accept it, the happier we'll all be.

I'm not kidding. Really.

EMMER EFFER

Lil Bro texted messaged me to ask what I had planned for Mom's birthday.

Uh... nothing... cuz ... um... I forgot about it....

Any last minute ideas?

The damn thing's on Monday...

It's Still Fuct, But I'm Not

At work my computer flipped out and my profile disappeared from the system a week ago this morning. I lost a month's worth of work that may or may not be able to be recovered...

But you know, there is a silver lining to it all...

My boss doesn't much care when I come in and sends me home as soon as he leaves. I rolled in around 8:15 this morning, took my hour lunch at noon, and got sent home just before 3:30. How can I argue with that?

And on a day when class was cancelled? Which ever Gods are shining upon me this week, I only hope I can figure out what I did to please you.

I left the office without a word to anyone that might want my attention, put on my headphones, and smiled the whole way home. I let my hair down to float in the breeze as soon as I got off the train. I found the cheerful sway in my walk. I took off my shoes, went upstairs, stripped off my clothes, and turned Sheila on. It was a time to read, sing, and blog.

This afternoon, no one could find me ... and I found some peace ...

In the Digital Dumps

My digital cable has been a tempermental bitch the past day or so. Sitting there watching TV, the box just turns off and goes blank. It eventually comes back on, for a little while. Then it does its stupid song and dance again.

Its irritating to know I'm paying far too much money for a service that doesn't even work. Thanks a lot cable company...

But this experience has made me even more peeved than I already was over the congressional attempt to make all cable subscribers go digital.

I know, I know... there is a very noble logic behind their attempt... forcing cable to the digital realm frees up space in the analog realm usable by first responders, but I don't trust government to do this right.

What about the high cost to consumers of digital? What about the millions of Americans that don't have compatible equipment? How will the shift effect the entertainment, advertising, and marketing industries? Will product revenue fall if fewer Americans can afford to watch tv (and thus the commercials)? Will fewer Americans be willing to watch tv with the new cost?

I suggest you go put on something sexy, cuz I think we're all about to get screwed...

KFC to Be?

Since I went into work late yesterday, I had to wait around for the train for a few minutes longer than usual...

There were sparrows playing on the empty track, flitting between a hole in the cement and the rails on the ground...chirping and hopping without a care in the world. It was something really peaceful to watch.

And then I realized, they are landing on things very near the electrified rail...

It got me to thinking, have any of them landed there and instantly fried themselves to death... right there in front of their friends and everybody? You know a redneck sparrow would...

"Hey Frank, watch this..."

ZZZZAPPPPP

Wonder if a zapped sparrow gets pulverized by an on coming train or if it still squishes like a non-zapped bird...

Careless Reporting

Opinions about journalistic bias and responsibility aside...Is anyone else tweaked by new sources with glaring typos that could have been corrected with some simple proofreading?

Fox News has up a headline right now where Israel is missing its 'i'
Last week there was a story where the word 'on' had been an 'e'

Maybe I've just got my ass puckered too tight but damn it irks me some days

Bye Bye Renee

Kenny and Renee are breaking up.

I told you that you shouldn't have married her, Kenny...

But NOOOO... don't listen to me...

Now she's calling you a fraud in public. Nice.

Nasty Socks

I was on dog sitting duty again a few days ago ... this dog never ceases to amaze me with his antics...

Not only does this dog piss on everything in sight - he constantly needs to drop a steamer ... constantly... Only he doesn't want you to know he's doing it. He regularly climbs into shrubs and hedges to avoid being seen. The back 'yard' where he lives doesn't have any foliage to hide in but he tries his best to hide under something.

On the day in question, Shit Monster went into the 'wooded' area that consists of dead branches, fallen leaves, and a sprinkling of trash.

Act One
He attempted to hide behind a tree in the neighbor's yard and gave me a hurt look when I wouldn't let him defile their property. He ran back to the center area and tried to go back to the house but couldn't ... he was too scared to move now that he had his leash caught on dead branches. I swear this dog is such a pussy. I yanked, the twigs broke, he freaked cuz they touched him, and he was free.

Act Two
He attempted to hide in something in the other neighbor's yard and again gave me a hurt look combined with the just let me shit, lady face. He came back to his own yard, climbed under some hanging twigs, and finally did his business ... and what looked like a couple of other dog's business as well ... as he waddled in a circle. WTF?

Finale
You guessed it, he's tangled his leash in the dead twigs again. This time he neared a full blown panic at being stuck. The more I tried to coax him in the untangling direction the more he freaked out ... and pranced from paw to paw like a little kid doing the pee-pee dance. The voices in my head were screaming at this point... NOOOOOO!! But he did. I snapped the twigs again and he was free... ready to go in the house.

He was agitated that I made him sit at the door instead of just letting him in. But I had to check to see if my worst fears had come true. Had he pranced himself right through the fresh pile? DAMMIT! He had.

A good hose down later I was bitter at him, he was bitter at me and we went our separate ways for the rest of the afternoon.

Murder & Presents

Little Jacky-Poo was supposed to come live here on Tuesday and hang out with Blue Fish but it just didn't work out that way. I got an e-mail from the guy who was giving Jack to me that said, in short, 'Jack's dead...my bad' MURDER, I say!

*pout*

Seems he was taking down a tank and thought little Jacky would be ok with a big Oscar. Nope! Little Jacky never stood a chance! The poor fish...

To make up for the disappointment I was gifted from someone else a pair of these bad boys...

Now I just have to figure out what to name them...

Take Two

Earlier today, as I was stuck dog sitting, I sat with my needlepoint and pattern in hand...

Fuck... Fuck... Fuck.Fuck.FUCK!

The pattern wasn't working right and I realized I had screwed up somewhere around 3 days ago. I had to rip out half of what I had accomplished on my first project since trying to pick up this hobby again. And in the midst of doing so I realized something...

I didn't have to make it right, no one would have known the difference between a few missing stitches and the ones that were put in the right place. I wanted to make it right.

How many chances does life offer for a genuine do-over? How many times do you get a second chance to really make something right?

That thought took a lot of the anger away as I appreciated the simple chance to start over when so often we are not granted the ability to do so. Sometimes all it takes is the right perspective and all is right again with the world.

Marry Me, I Dare You

WitNit has a list of things said by Dennis Miller that I believe everyone should go read. But I'm biased... I find Dennis Miller to be funny... usually just stating something that should be obvious, but somehow that is funny to me.

Anyhow... this one struck a little close to home...

"Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?"

You see...I've dated more than my fair share of anti-marriage commitment phobes that were ready to angrily and disgustedly wrap me in plastic and toss me to the curb like a 3 day old fish carcass accidentally left to bake in the sun on the kitchen counter while they flitted off for a posh weekend with their toothpicky mistress... that is once things got a little rocky or I dared complain... They'd never give me up on good terms - I mean, come on... this is me we're talking about... and who throws out a perfectly good doormat? You at least wait until it gets signs of wear or a touch of mildew...

If I viewed marriage like the piece of paper that they thought it was, I might be married...or I might at least be able to see myself married at some point in the future. Right now, that ain't happening. Just call me Jade-d.

Sure, sure...I hear what you're saying...It must be that my parents getting divorced that jaded me so. Sorry, no. It isn't the divorcees that have me down on marriage. It isn't the people that have gotten re-married. It is the vast sea of unhappiness I see in people that have chosen to stay married. I respect the whole til death do we part and I have issues with the 'if it doesn't feel good, don't do it' society of today, but COME ON! My parents staying married did me absolutely NO favors. Couples that aren't honest with one another... couples that talk disparagingly about one another (sometimes in front of the other person...or in public)... couples where half stays late at work just to get some peace... It's all the bad marriages out there that makes me wary. I can think of only one example of a good marriage out of all my family, friends, and exes. Those don't seem like good odds to me, especially not with my track record of winners...

But there is one thing that I think marriage and money have in common... neither one can ever make you truly happy...

Evil Upstairs

Do you live in a noisy apartment/condo/townhouse? Have you ever wondered why your neighbors are playing such loud music? If you live near me, maybe the reason is YOU.

I can't win the battle to keep the evil upstairs quiet so the only thing I'm left with is to fight back. The kids are constantly jumping off of the furniture, banging their toys on the window sill that just so happens to be directly above my bed, or screaming off the balcony which is also just a few feet from my bedroom. The adults have never heard of walking - they insist on stomping everywhere. Or screaming on the phone while on the balcony. I've bitched about this before where I noted they are so loud that the vibrations actually knock things off my walls. With a little help from Sheila and her wonderful 4.1s, my response is now loud music.

I tried being tolerant. I tried banging on the ceiling. I'd try talking to them but they don't speak english. I can't hear them annoying me, problem solved. If it pisses them off, bonus for me.

Sure, it might continue in a you annoy me, I annoy you battle of escalation but I'm a bitch when you piss me off... I'm pretty sure you'll regret messing with me once you push too far.

I've Had It!

Your car is going to DIE!

I cannot tell you the number of times I have wanted to do this. Some idiot has a car alarm installed but doesn't give a shit about his car enough to actually pay attention when it goes off. Or the shitheads that know their alarm is too sensitive and don't bother to figure out how to change it? Or how about the assholes that don't disconnect the alarm even when they know it is malfunctioning and going off every 10 minutes for 5 minutes at a time? Some people just shouldn't be allowed to have car alarms...

As for the dude that flipped out and shot the car? Well... I guess you can see why Simi Valley has fallen from the top 3 ranking of America's safest cities... It ranks somewhere around 17 last I checked. They are letting the home of Reagan's final resting place slowly go to crap. The disrespectful bastards!

Wednesday Blows

I've sat here for the past hour trying to post something interesting but my brain is currently a pile of mush. In fact, I feel about as great as this kid looks

I have a comfy bed, I'm going to go use it.
I need a full body massage, can we work out a deal?

I refuse to give in to Wednesday like it's important, I'll be back later and this day will regret ever messing with me.

Day of Leisure?

Just when you thought the list had been completed...

I'm stuck wading through insurance claims and laundry before I head downtown to get man handled by my new chiropractor. The only upside to that is that I hopefully will stop waking up in tears from the ache.

What was that I was saying about today being leisurely?

Feline Atkins

Researchers are claiming that felines of the world are carnivorous because, due to a genetic defect, they cannot taste sweet flavors.

Can we get these genetic scientists to work on something like this for people? Cuz being able to turn off my sweets gene with a diet pill would make eating healthy so much easier...

I've trained myself out of massive portion sizes, out of liking pizza, out of most sweet drinks, and even out of high doses of chocolate...

Come on, people! I'm doing my part to be beautiful ... science should do theirs too...

Is It Too Quiet Here?

I apologize for the blackhole that this blog has become in the past couple of days...I've been letting life simmer down a little and enjoying the newly found little things offered to me here.

We drove around looking at houses yesterday, seeing how the neighborhoods have changed since I left seven years ago. In fact, these past 11 days make up the greatest chunk of continuous time I have spent in this town since I left. Before today, I had never spent more than a few days at a time in this town since high school.

I had lunch with Lil Bro and his GF (so cute, btw) and then we went shopping with KS without buying anything...we got spa pedicures like it was our weekend routine and laughed together the whole day. I rediscovered that playing pool takes practice...just because your mom has one in her house, doesn't mean you know how to play... In fact, it was embarassingly bad. But KS was just as bad...so that just made it fun...

Unfortunately, I did end up cancelling my trip to San Diego. This close to home and I just couldn't quite make it happen. But I'll be back in October/November time frame for some more good times down there.

Thanks for hangin in there readers. For now, I must pack...

Family Dinner, pt. 2

After a stressful day of chit chat and ignoring the necessary organization of the junk I've crapped up my mom's house with... I had sushi with Dad and Lil Bro. There was much less trauma inflicted during this dinner. Well, on me at least. Lil Bro was still reeling from the info revealed to him last night while Dad and I just laughed at him for it. The night was pretty uneventful overall though...

The sushi chef was perturbed with Dad's attempts at 'enjoying sushi correctly' according to some posh article from NY...

I was perturbed with his attempt to get me to speak Japanese with the chef and his insistence that I must know how to speak fluently because I lived in Japan...

Lil Bro was honing his OCD skills...

but the food was good and it was on Dad's card... that always makes any food taste taste better...

I'll take it as a good night.

On the Ground

I've landed at LAX, been completely sketched out by the rundown state of terminal 3 and the variety of third world countries that appear to be fighting for sovereign control, and braved mom's driving...I only almost died twice...so it was a good night on the freeways...

Kitty was happy to see me and promptly got fur all over my shirt...which is ok because he's old and cute and I never get to see him.

But now I'm going to bed...

Inspiration

I'm fresh out of inspiration today...well, I suppose I have been for a while now...

Today, though, is day one of week one of doing whatever the hell I feel like... I think I'll go work on a puzzle. It's been a while since I worked on one of those. Perhaps something nifty to write about will pop into my head while I'm concentrating on the little pictures.

Now what the hell am I supposed to do with it once it's finished?

UPDATE (1:06p): Nothing super inspiring yet. Except, I noticed Bob Barker sounds a lot like Futurama's Professor Farnsworth when you aren't really paying attention to the TV.

Jake

My step-mom's boxer, Jake, died at dad's house this morning. Dad text messaged my phone to tell me. What a happy wake-up call....

I won't particularly miss Jake since I haven't spent more than 36 hrs in my dad's house since he got re-married. I just never bonded with the dog in any meaningful way. Still, it is sad. He suffered for a long time when he should have been euthanized many months ago. I am relieved he is out of his misery.

I am slightly curious and creeped out though. I've never had a pet die at home (other than fish). I don't know how I would deal with my pet just dropping dead in my house. Meeting an unfortunate end is one thing, but to just wake up one morning and find your life-long pet not breathing? Yikes... I'd have nightmares for sure.

In-Laws

I'm embarassed to say I'm watching Dr. Phil at the moment but when it came on, I just couldn't turn it off because of the topic - terrible in-laws. Granted, I've never been married but I've had some bad experiences with the potential in-laws that have definitely been detrimental to my relationships.

So...the show didn't really help because I got distracted and didn't really pay attention...but what I did hear sounded familiar. Men that don't stand up for their wives... in-laws that talk trash or meddle... women that get backed into a corner because they are entirely abandoned... men caught in the middle that do nothing because they don't know who to side with...

While I love my grandmother and I have issues with my own mother, I saw first hand how this affected my mom as I was growing up. My mother did everything she could to make that woman happy. She gave up relationships with her own family and I missed out on relationships with my extended family only 4 hours away because my grandmother insisted we spend holidays with her. My father never stood up for my mom and to the best of my knowledge, never even validated that she had a reason to be upset when my grandmother did something. The snide remarks were missed when we were young but always could sense the tension. We always knew when our parents had been fighting over her, even if we couldn't hear them. My grandma didn't respect my mom and my dad never stepped in to ease the tension. My mom got run over for years and was never given any credit for how hard she tried or how emotionally trying it was to be the bigger person for nearly 30 years.

The only potential inlaws that have ever treated me well were the people that believed I was far too good for their son and practically encouraged me to leave him once they realized I was about to do it.

Maybe this is why I've never been married...

Fair Play?

I have a question I'd like to pose to the 'sphere...

If a woman hits a man, for whatever reason, right or wrong (in the arm or body...not the face or the jewels), does the man have a right to hit her back? Ever? Is this fair in the era of equal rights and equal treatment?

Please leave your response in the comments.

Guilt

Have you ever posted something on your blog just to get it off your chest and then been confronted with a comment, email, phone call from someone that swore what you wrote was in relation to them? Sometimes they’re apologizing for something they'd done, sometimes they're mad as hell that you wrote such a thing in view of the entire public... but either way...they are certain your motives for writing point straight back at them.

But what if your motives for writing weren't pointing straight back at them? Have you ever just felt a certain way without having to ascribe those feelings to one single person or event? Maybe a bunch of things just built up and you had to get it out once and for all. I have felt this way... posted as a result...and gotten the aforementioned, unsolicited response...

In my philosophy, the people that think the posts are about them are guilty. Some might say self-absorbed or arrogant...but I'll stick with guilty. A conscience so guilty about something that they are convinced my writing was their fault. A conscience that knows a wrong deed was committed that has not been atoned for and is trying to make its owner realize the error in judgment. Alas, most of these people don't listen to the conscience and just think you a liar when you tell them the post wasn't about them...

Those with something to hide or a guilty conscience are always the ones that will jump to scream their defense. Sometimes though, 'he doth protest too much,' and the truth shines through...

But guilt really is a strange thing when you stop and think about it...sometimes we bring it on ourselves and sometimes we are coaxed into it with the help of someone else...but really, it is something truly internal that makes us suffer...

There's No Humor...

...In the Good Humor aisle at Giant.

As if it weren't sad enough to be doing your grocery shopping on a Friday night, alone, I had a basket full of frozen food screaming away at the state of my personal life. Don't ask me why but my chubby ass gave into the devil inside that was begging for ice cream.

I got to the aisle, my indecisiveness kicked in, and I hemmed and hawed about what to buy for a few minutes. Finally I started picking up boxes and comparing labels. I had to give into the devil inside but I didn't want to be 3 sizes bigger as a result. I finally decide on something, add it to my basket, and go on my way.

*Smack*

The ice cream bars fell on the floor as I'm leaving the aisle. As I pick them up I realize they aren't the ones I wanted. So I go to the end cap freezer with various frozen treats and put it inside. I reach to pick up a different box when I realize there are 20 bars inside. I definitely don't need that much ice cream in my freezer. My ass would be to New Jersey by dawn... So I close the freezer, keep looking, and finally decide on cheap ice cream bars.

I grab the box, pull it from the freezer, and *whoosh* the entire box of ice cream bars go flying across the floor. I start to laugh at the happenstance but as I look up to the people coming my direction, none of them are even snickering. One woman even glared at me for being her way as I picked them all up and put the damaged box back in the freezer. No humor I tell you...

Like studying alone on a Friday night in a crowded restaurant wasn't shameful enough... Hpmh!

I tried...

Really...I did...

I was on my way to class when I realized (1) I was running late (I thought) and (2) I didn't have enough money on my metro card and all I had was a credit card. Dammit, fewer machines to choose from. I happened to catch the station just when a bus full of travelers came in...There is a shuttle from the airport directly to where I metro from. Dammit, stupid lines of people. I have 2 machines to choose from and one line is horrendous...so I go to the other one... Dammit, it's the line of people that don't know what they are doing. Ok, I can be patient...I don't really care about class that much anyway...

Dobee dobee do... waiting... waiting... waiting ... K...almost my turn...

The lady in front of me is this little old woman that apparently can't speak or read English. But she has a smartcard... weird... Anyway, I am patient... she must sort of know how this works if she has a smartcard.

Dobee dobee do... waiting... waiting... waiting ... K... this lady is clueless...

She is getting frustrated and more frantic as she is pushing buttons and trying to shove money in the machine. She steps aside mid-transaction, desperately looking at the next machine, trying to find some way to do this. It's almost like she used to know but just can't remember.

I feel bad for her so I try to help...

I lean forward, cancel the screen she is staring at, and start her over. I swipe her card, push a button...meanwhile she is frantically trying to shove the money in still... the machine takes the money, I swipe her card, and she’s good to go.

Or not...

She stands there staring at the screen. I put my hand on her shoulder and tell her its ok, it’s all done. And then I get the look... Oh shit...what did I do? She puts her hands to her face and then holding up two fingers says, "2 dollar" and points to herself. Uhhh...shit... You can't get money off of a smartcard once it’s on there. Uhhh...shit shit shit... She wanders away mumbling to herself and holding her head in her hands. I look to the guy behind me and he looks at me like, "you're holding up the line."

So, I get my card and I go to class. I saw her standing at the other smartcard machine when I went through the gate thingy (whatever that is called for real). I felt terrible! What if that was money for her kids to eat tonight? Ugh...I tried, man...

Do I at least get the good karma for trying?
All I tried to be was a Good Samaritan, God dammit...

Odd Protest

You know, I never really thought I'd see people protesting over the PR of potatoes... in London no less... But they've taken to the streets and are demanding the dictionary be amended...

I can understand that they are part of a potato growing lobby that feels the term is hurting their sales... It might seem reasonable that their request be to have the term restricted in sales & marketing campaigns... But to have the term removed from the dictionary? Like it isn't a real word?

Come on people... It's a real word and it's one that people are going to use in their daily lives whether you like it or not. Dictionaries include curse words that aren't considered properly acceptable and slang terms that aren't exceptionally kind. What have we come to when we start banning words from the dictionary simply because we don't like them?

I can get behind you on wanting to promote your product but don't mess around with bans that will get us all into trouble later. Have a little forethought man...

Cell Phone Antics

I've been away from my phone a lot lately so when I saw that I had several missed calls over the weekend, I was not surprised. The weird part? There was a new number I didn't recognize, no voicemail, and I didn't have a clue where the area code was from. I figured it couldn't have been too important if they didn't leave a voicemail.
This morning that same number called again. Only this time when I answered it, they hung up...immediately. I'm talkin 4 second phone call here. Ok...so I'm a little more curious at this point and I go look up the area code.

Waco, TX? Who the hell do I know in Waco, TX? Uh oh...this could be bad...

I tried to call the number back but it was busy. I wait a few minutes and try to call again. I get a recording that says the number is not working.

So now I have no idea what to think. It could be one of two people that don't really have any reason to be calling and I really don't want to talk to anyway....or it could be some kind of telemarketer crap that sometimes happens....

But if it happens again, I'm going to start getting bitter...

UPDATE:
They have now called three times...
Jun 19, 8:18p
Jun 20, 12:21p
Jun 20, 1:24p

Not cool

UPDATE 2:
Fourth time - Jun 20, 5:39p
I answered again and discovered the number belongs to a call center somewhere but they wouldn't tell me who they were or why they were calling. Fuckers...

Damn Deck

It bit me, you know... The damn deck bit me... and it bit me damn hard!

Ok, so I had a little fault in there too. I was walking around barefoot on the deck and stubbed my big toe (not unusual for the klutz that is me). This was different though, it hurt a lot. I looked down and there was a mouse sized spear sticking out of my toe. I yanked it out and of course, broke a piece off in my toe. I tried coaxing it out, but to no avail...

I went in search of the proper toe surgery tools... and found none.

So I took an unused finishing nail from a piece of newly purchased furniture and proceeded to dig the offending piece of wood from my toe. It took a bit of work but I have now removed one tiny splinter and one mouse sized spear-tip from my toe.

Finding a band-aid and antibiotic ointment was another adventure in itself...

But now I am bandaged and good as new! Who says self-surgery isn't fun?

iPOD

I've lived this long without an iPOD or any type of portable MP3 device but if I can have one for free, dammit, I want one for free(ish).

CLICK THIS LINK to help me get it.

I need 4 people to help me out of the dark ages...PLEASE!!!!

Dog Day

Yep, I'm watching the dog again...
He just spent 8 days in the kennel and if left home alone he has to go into the crate that he hates. I thought the little guy could use a break.

So, I'm up far earlier than usual (and thus somewhat grumpy) and the dog doesn't give a crap. I'd be sleeping if it weren't for the neighbor dog that was barking this morning. At least it wasn't this dog though. He thought about eating this morning but decided instead to go press his face against the front window and rip off a few, rather loud farts while I ate breakfast just on the other side of the room. Awesome...

I can see this is going to be a great day already...

Tunnel Vision

So many people in our society have what I am going to refer to as 'tunnel vision' and it is really a sad thing to witness. By 'tunnel vision' I'm attempting to label the phenomenon whereby people are so caught up in their own lives and how busy they are that they are virtually incapable of seeing the world through another person's eyes in any meaningful way. Those afflicted with 'tunnel vision' no longer see what someone else might see and take that viewpoint into account when they act. There is no more golden rule. They bury themselves in their own assumptions and do what they have to in order to get by...all the while excusing their mistreatment of others or at the very least, their rude behavior with the idea of how many important things they have to accomplish.

Oh how I miss the days of treating others the way you wish to be treated was just plain common courtesy...

Refusing to be Herded

Even though its been a while since the place was updated I was reading this story over at Bastard Sword...

It was posted under science but I took away from it was something different. It seemed appropriate these days, in fact... Never be afraid to stand out and be different. It may be lonely for a while and you might face a tougher trail but in the end, you may be right. And if you're lucky, you may be right enough for it to matter beyond your own pride.

So often we believe that the consensus is right - how could so many smart people all be wrong in the exact same way? Probability may say that the likelihood is low but it still happens...and sometimes you can just tell. Something in your gut knows that it has happened. But most people, most of the time, are afraid to go with that hunch. Perhaps they don't trust themselves or they don't want to face the potential ridicule? But why? The concept of group think whereby a less than optimal decision is often made in group settings is well established. But we don't believe it actually happens?

You become marked when you buck the system, your name blackened, and your head painted with a target for those in charge. That stigma can be lasting and painful but sometimes it is necessary. Of course, choose your battles wisely but be different when it can make a difference...in solving a repeated injustice...in correcting misdeeds...in pointing out an error in consensus conclusions...It doesn't have to be a gesture as grand as those by Rosa Parks or Martin Luther King, Jr but your struggle, no matter how small, may mean a world of difference to those yet to come.

So go out and if the system is screwing with you, screw with the system...

House Rules

I don't have many rules that MUST be followed in my house but one of them was violated today.

I pulled back the curtain after taking a shower and saw a black spot on my mirror. Upon close inspection I discovered it was a nasty black spider. This would NOT be tolerated.

Rule: Crawly things serve a purpose and thus shall be left alone to do their duty in the ecosystem, so long as they are outside. Crawly things that enter my house are immediately on death row and shall be executed immediately upon discovery. (Unless they are really icky in which case I will scream until someone else kills them or freak out until I can discover some method for killing said crawly thing without touching it).

Today's offender was immediately met with several blasts of windex that caused him to twitch, slide down the mirror, and then be squashed by the paper towel I used to absorb the cleaner that had collected in the gap at the bottom of the mirror.

...I did get a clear mirror out of the deal...

Moving

I've spent the last couple of days trying to help people move to the area and I have to say the only thing I hate more than moving is moving someone else. The only thing I hate more than that is packing... Packing, regardless of how wonderful the reason I'm packing, is the bane of my existence. I'm great at it - but I hate it with every ounce of my being. That being said, when it comes to moving... inefficient use of space, disorganization, and wasting time are my hugest pet peeves. To make matters worse, the girl that was moving had her mom there to 'help.' UGH! This was a nightmare.... 4 people all trying to pack one 10ft truck and tell each other the best way to do it. I don't really know the girl that well so I initially stood aside and did what I was told. Finally I had enough of people debating on things for 30 mins every time something was taken to the truck and I just jumped in. They brought stuff out and I put it in the truck. End of complication, for the most part. Her mom kept trying to jump in from time to time but the mom-wrangler kept her occupied most of the time. We finished packing up the truck just as it started to rain. I stood out in it for a few minutes because it just felt so cleansing.

We drove the truck up to DC bright and early the next morning (read: at my least favorite time of day) in the middle of a huge downpour. I ended up sleeping in the passenger’s seat of the moving truck for about an hour or so...so it wasn't all bad. Once we got there things were sort of the same so I just hopped in the truck and started unloading. Now I'm known as Ms. Delegation...

Things took a lot longer than planned so I ended up going straight from there to my summer school class last night. I was most definitely not thrilled about that but nothing could be done. I came home, had some wine, and everything was all good.

Unfortunately I get to do the same thing again in 2 weeks for someone else...

Dining in Company

Do you ever have a meal with someone and they look across the table at you like you're a complete freak? Well I have...

First off, I sometimes eat some kind of weird food. This generally gets some kind of, "are you serious?" kind of expression. Example, whole grain toast with cottage cheese on top. I personally love the stuff. I let the bread cool a little bit so it is warm, not hot, and then drop some cold cottage cheese on top. It's a wonderful mix of warm and cool, crunchy and smooth. Not to mention the relative health benefits of eating that for breakfast instead of something more traditional. Its low fat, it's got protein, good carbs, calcium, fiber... Another example, Japanese pickles...not the sweet kind though... Mom... they are little crunchy bites of salty goodness... But if you get the wrong brand they end up too mushy or too sweet so you have to be careful about buying them.

Second, when eating with people I'm not really familiar with I tend to eat really slowly and I often don't finish my food (sometimes I only eat about half of what was on the plate). This probably isn't really as bad as most people take it, but it is out of character for the American culture. This usually garners some kind of skeptical or worried look from the people across the table. I assume they are worried I didn't like the food or that I don't feel well. It's not really out of nervousness...I guess I just have more to think about than the food since I tend to talk more during those meals.

Third, when I'm eating with someone that has usually only seen me under the circumstances listed in #2 and they see me finish up the whole plate. This usually gets some kind of comment like, "wow...you were pretty hungry..." since they have never seen me eat that much. Of course, this comment makes me hugely self-conscious and feel like a pig...but it is a natural reaction for them. Example, I went to a late-night snack with a guy and didn't finish my chicken strips. Next week we went to lunch before seeing a movie and I slowly ate my salad, ultimately not finishing it. I think we may have had a sandwich together once after that but I don't remember. But we went to Denny's one weekend before seeing a movie and I was starved. I had been out late the night before getting my drink on and kickin' up a little sawdust on my halo. More than likely I hadn't had much dinner the night before because I traditionally don't - dinner usually slips my mind when it is full of thoughts of handsome cowboys...*swoon* In any case, it was probably noon or 1p by this time...I didn't realize how hungry I was until the food arrived and I wolfed it down. He sat silent for most of the meal and gave me a few, "who the crap are you?" kind of looks. I was hungry dammit!!

So future dining company...No, I am not a complete freak...and if you think so while we're at the table, here's my explanatory proof that I'm not. I shall refer you to this page in the event that you disagree.

Memories

It's funny what little tricks our mind uses to help us remember things.

For example, I recently had the following conversations:

Him: "Chipotle sounds good right about now."
Me: "Yeah, that would be good right about now...but there isn't one really all that close to me. Oh well."
Him: "Yeah, there's not really near you."
Me: "I think I've only been there once."
Him: "The time before we went to the beach?"
Me: "Wait, were you there?"
Him: "YES! We went to the beach and I dug a giant hole with the bucket and shovel I bought at Ralphs."
Me: "Yeah, I remember that...maybe I've been there twice. I just don't remember when I was there the second time."
Him: "ok..."
Me: "Did Miss Hottie throw up in the bathroom the time that we went?"
Him: "No..."
Me: "Maybe you were buying your beach toys when she did that. But she was hella hungover when we went, right?"
Him: "I don't think so..."

So during that conversation I never did figure out if I had been once or twice. On to the next conversation.

Miss Hottie: "I'm going to have Chipotle for dinner."
Me: "Cool. You know I think I've only been there once."
Miss Hottie: "Really?!?"
Me: "I think...I'm not sure...Was 'Digger' there the time you went and threw up?
Miss Hottie: "No, I don't think he was there..."
Me: "He wasn't at the store or something?"
Miss Hottie: "I don't think so...cuz that was the time we went and ate at the beach. Miss Teacher wasn't there."
Me: "Yes she was...you guys made that face in the sand and I took a picture."
Miss Hottie: "Oh yeah...but I don't think 'Digger' was there that one time..."
Me: "Wait...you're right...we ate at the beach once and at the restaurant once."
Miss Hottie: "Yeah...there was the time at the beach and then the time with the cheese..."
Me: "Hehehe...puking cheese has got to suck..."
Miss Hottie: "Yes, it does....a lot."

So you see? I remember events in rather strange ways...who built what out of sand and who threw up where... Or maybe I just have strange friends...

Something More

Just when you start to calm down and life feels like it's settling itself out, something comes along to jack it all up.

I got an email tonight that just threw a wrench into a lot of the next month's worth of plans. I couldn't help but think, "you've got to be freakin kidding me. This is NOT happening. Not now."

I did what I could to deal with the situation for the time being and then I put my head down on the desk in utter disbelief. Ok, so I dropped my forehead on the desk a couple of times out of sheer frustration. And then this song came into my head...

There's gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more bliss
--Something More, Sugarland

The only thing keeping me from being incredibly angry and disappointed enough to throw up my hands and walk away is hoping (on some deep down level) that these lyrics are true...

I sure as hell hope that there is something more than this cuz I certainly need a little less hard time. Dear Lord do I need a little less hard time...

Finger Food

Have you ever noticed that some food just tastes better when you eat it with your hands? I do.

I find myself eating more and more frozen meals (like lean cuisine types) for three reasons: (1) I'm paranoid about my weight and the little box has my calories calculated for me, (2) I'm lazy, (3) Cooking for one just blows sometimes. They can get a little boring and monotonous to say the least. But eating with my fingers makes it a little bit more fun. Go try it! (Make sure you wash them first...especially if you don't know where they've been!)

Foreign Lands

It's funny how when the person you spend most of your time talking to leaves the country and is out of contactable reach, you find a lot of things to do to fill the time. Of course, I'm not getting nearly enough responsible ones done but I am keeping myself busy nonetheless.

Somehow those moments in between manage to feel just a little extra lonely though, no matter how hard you try to keep those moments from creeping in.

*kicks the in between moments*
Stupid loneliness...

Stupid Flyer

I was bored enough procrastinating this afternoon so much that I decided to read the weekly circular for my local grocery...but I did it online. Some interesting stuff I suppose. I see one thing on a great sale so I decide to go stock up on it. I put on presentable clothes, I march myself to the store, I get the rest of my goods, and the one item I wanted BECAUSE it was on sale...wasn't actually on sale. What the crap people?

Stupid flyer...

SPF & Moisture

Gentlemen, you can stop reading right now as I'm fairly certain you are not interested in the cosmetics section of the drug store...

So ladies...a friend was asking for skin care advice today...
As part of the answer I picked up my moisturizer...my trusty, wonderful, always gives me great skin moisturizer...and there was no SPF rating on it. *GASP* WHAT? This has to be wrong, I thought. Nope...I looked it up on the Neutrogena website...there is no SPF rating for my moisturizer. These bastards! The entire time I have been using it, I have thought I was protecting my skin from the sun.

So now I face a dilemma...I like my combination skin moisturizer by Neutrogena but it is very important to me to protect my skin... Neutrogena doesn't make a combination skin moisturizer with an SPF rating...

Bastards...

FedEx

I am quickly growing to hate this bunch of incompetent losers... They just keep letting me down.

Back in Feb I used them to send a birthday present and they botched it multiple times.

Now, they are the delivery company for a package I am anxiously awaiting. The transaction looks something like this so far:

Ship date: May 2, 2005
Estimated delivery date: May 5, 2005 by 4:30 pm

May 5, 2005
8:26 am
On FedEx vehicle for delivery
WEST SPRINGFIELD VA

May 4, 2005
8:27 pm
Package in FedEx location
WEST SPRINGFIELD VA

12:52 pm
Package not due for delivery
WEST SPRINGFIELD VA

7:56 am
On FedEx vehicle for delivery
WEST SPRINGFIELD VA

6:50 am
Arrived at FedEx Destination Location
WEST SPRINGFIELD VA

4:43 am
Left FedEx Ramp
DULLES VA

2:22 am
Arrived at FedEx Ramp
DULLES VA

May 3, 2005
2:44 pm
Left FedEx Sort Facility
INDIANAPOLIS IN

4:54 am
Left FedEx Sort Facility
LOS ANGELES CA

May 2, 2005
11:50 pm
Arrived at Sort Facility
LOS ANGELES CA

8:23 pm
Left FedEx Origin Location
CITY OF INDUSTRY CA

3:49 pm
Pre-routed meter pkg picked up
CITY OF INDUSTRY CA

How flippin long would you like my package to float around VA? And what is this "Package not due for delivery" crap after you put it on a truck and drove it around all day?

FedEx SUCKS! NOW GIVE ME MY PACKAGE!

UPDATE: My package was delivered this evening and after much personal temper tantrum throwing over my own subsequent, simpleton mistake, all is well with the package contents.

It's So Obvious...

I guess that's what makes it so hard...

I sat on my lazy duff after class tonight and watched House for the first time in 5 months. I have no idea what the overarching storyline is at this point so forgive my lack of details. But as the episode ended I nearly threw the stick from my long since eaten fudgesicle at the TV ... until I remembered it wasn't my TV. He sat there wanting this woman to come back to work and offered her everything in the book ... praise for her skills, more money, a better parking spot, he even offered to listen to her more ... but he didn't offer her what was so flipping obvious ... appreciation for who she was, as a person, not just a doctor. She didn't need to hear she did a good job...she needed to hear that he valued her. She needed to have him swallow his pride. Nothing else would do...and he just didn't understand...

I feel ya, girl... Captain Obvious is on vacation and he didn’t bother to hire a temp...

I Was Dumb

Coming home today at 9:30p I had my headphones on as I tried in vain to study for the one final I have left. There was a rather distraught/tired looking fellow a seat over but that's standard in this city so I didn't think anything of it. When we got near my stop he made a quick phone call and then smiled in my direction. I smiled back and went back to putting my things away. He then pulled out an address and asked if I knew where the street was. So I told him I would show him where it was.
We got off the train and exited the station. We started walking toward a dark area with no sidewalk and I veered off to the better lit, paved portion of the road. I walked him to the intersection where I lived and told him exactly where he needed to go. We shook hands and parted ways.
It didn't dawn on me until I was at home making dinner...late at night, strange man I don't know, single girl, few people around... wtf was I thinking?

Little Miss Helpful apparently forgets about the dangers of big city life sometimes...

Move Busted...

And so is my toe...

Note to self: Subwoofer & toe are a poor (and painful) combination. Corner impact at velocity (no matter how minimal) underscores this point.

But my toe is a pretty purple color now...

Stupid Commercials

I was interrupted by an extremely stupid commercial today as I indulged my post-research-conducting-temporarily-on-strike self with a guilty pleasure - soaps. Well, it’s not really plural... I only really follow one with any semblance of regularity. It’s Passions, the stupidest one (if that's possible), so the laughter it generates sort of makes me feel better about watching the drama unfold. I only semi know what is going on with the Days of Our Lives cast and the only reason I care is I started watching when I HS classmate was given a permanent role.

Anyhow...I'm eating my lunch, watching TV, enjoying the nice weather, smiling at the sweet smell of flowers drifting off my coffee table ... and a commercial comes on. Whatever...blah blah blah...another commercial...blah blah blah...then the offending advertisement. There's this woman prancing around a meadow in a black flowing dress with a wrap she is flinging around like its rhythmic gymnastics at the Olympics. She is longing for a scent, poking her head in and out of secluded areas as she searches for it. She is a total whiner in that stupid perfume ad whisper and acts like her life will end if she doesn't find the necessary scent. Naturally this looks like a perfume ad, right? No...It’s a Snuggle ad. They've got some new scent about emeralds that they want you to try.

You know what? Your commercial was so annoyingly stupid, I'm not going to try it...just to spite you...you damn Snuggle bear with your damn laugh and damn showing up in the middle of stuff...

Stress Relief

Before my presentation last night I had to do something with my stress. I highly recommend these two options for anyone needing to distract themselves and smile on the inside (at least a little).

1. Pop bubble wrap ... ONLINE! No need to waste the real stuff...
Just go here instead...

2. Set off some fireworks ... ONLINE! Just visit what remains of my first website and blow off all the fireworks you want. But if you've got a subwoofer, make sure the volume isn't too loud. They make a nice boom. Try it!

If you don't enjoy one of these two activities I'm putting out an amber alert for your inner child...right after I report you as a murder suspect for killing the poor child.

Floor Vents

Ok, these vents on the floor of my breadbox sided bedroom...Not cool! Yes, I understand the point of hot air rises, 'better' heating, etc. However, this room is already the hottest room in the house. And vents on the floor means I can only arrange my furniture so many ways. Since it was winter I just covered them up with my bed and my desk...I'd sweat my ass off if I had even more heat pumping in here. So now that its getting warmer, I'm screwed.

I am itching to rearrange the furniture like you couldn't believe. Its a thing I do. Its like wiping the slate clean I suppose. Or maybe its my way of changing the view so I don't get bored. Why I do it is not the point. The point is, I really don't have any new options on what to do with my furniture because if I cover up the vents during the summer, I get no AC. No AC = VERY unhappy Princess.

$*$@%*^#$_$_*&#@!#@ wrong coast ...
*&^$%$%#!@#$$% architechture ...

I just want to move the furniture dammit...why is that so much to ask?

Where Have I Heard This Before?

You used to be such a good little girl
Now you've got a problem with the whole damn world

You're gonna have a hard time til you get it right
You're gonna have a hard time...

BWAHAHAHA...my parents have come to haunt me in the music I listen to!

And they are right...I don't think I've taken the easy road for a day in my life...makes things more ...uh....rewarding ;o)

Ghost of Lil Bro

I don't see lil bro more than once or twice a year, I suppose. I'll see him next month for his graduation from college but I haven't seen my brother since Christmas. He looked the way I remembered him....Big dude, slightly overweight but well carried due to his natural muscle and big bone structure.

He sent me a recent picture the other day and my jaw dropped. He doesn't look hardly a thing like the brother I know. He's lost a lot of weight but not in a good way. He's a ghost of who he once was. He looks unwell.

I've always known how insecure he is but I never knew it would present itself like this. In the picture you can see how uncomfortable he is and how badly he needs the approval of those around him. There is insecurity oozing from every pixel.

Never before have I been so sad for him. And never before have I been so powerless to help. My efforts would make it worse - he resents me and everything in my life.

Exercise Ball

I've had this damn exercise ball in my living room for the past couple months ... just sitting there taunting me and poking fun at my out-of-shape-ness (it’s a mean little bastard like that). So I've finally had enough. No, I've not decided to work out with it (I'm lazy here, remember?). My incredibly poor posture in my desk chair led me this morning to sitting on the exercise ball as I work on the computer. Hopefully it will keep me from being so slouchy. As a bonus, its fun too! Means I don't have to sit still - I hate sitting still.

Avoiding Avoiding Reality

As I lay in the hot bath laced with magnolia, candles burning all around, listening to a new CD, I attempted to avoid my current reality for just a few brief moments.

Instead I lay there thinking of everything I should be doing instead. It started out simple enough, "I should think about shaving my legs while I'm soaking here..." But the thoughts just kept coming.
I do need to see the chiropractor but I am too busy/stubborn I to actually care enough to find one...
How much research I could be getting done while I lay here?
What the hell did I do with my day?
When am I going to get off my ass and make an eye appointment?
Stupid conclusion that still needs to be written...
I would kill for a bath pillow right now...
What's it going to take to get the roommate to switch rooms?
I should ask the landlord to tint the windows...
But that would be mean if I decide to move out...
My phone still isn't ringing...
Tickets, hotel, car...fuck...
Don't I have an interesting magazine to read?
I should be more tired than this, what's wrong with me?
Who the hell thought this bathtub would be comfortable?
No faith? No shit. I don't live in a fantasy land.
Fucking internships...
3 1/2 weeks? Fuck...
Shit, I still need a dress...
I bet cell phones don't work on cruise ships...
Why am I still lying here if I'm cold and aching?

As the water kept getting colder and I watched candles burning out one by one I suddenly realized...I was not avoiding reality. Somehow I had learned how to avoid avoiding reality.

Day Three

I woke up this morning and the migraine that had subsided enough for me to fall asleep had returned with a fierceness something mad wicked. F'in SOB...what does it want from me?

Anyhow, check out this little life advice that a friend of mine posted on his away message:

P.S. Guys who wear tighty-whities have issues. Guys who wear thongs should be tortured and executed. Especially guys who wear black thongs who stand at urinals with their jeans pulled down to their ankles, and scare the shit out of poor me when I walk into the bathroom at work

I concur...except for that urinal part...cuz a Princess wouldn't use the men's room...Queens, well, that's a whole 'nother story...

Day Two

Its day two of the evil evil EVIL migraine. This is the worst I've had in a while. I spent a fabulously wonderful year and a half or so without them but since moving to the East Evil Coast they have returned. And they are threatening to begin attacking me on a clockwork-like schedule. What's worse...there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Dark room...nope. Silence...nope. Sleep...you're kidding, right? OTC Drugs...nope. 'Spensive Drugs...If you come anywhere near me with Immitrex I'll find a way to painfully murder you with the packaging (not so good reaction years ago).

My obvious frustration leads me to the excessive use of profanity (yes, even more excessive than usual). So naturally, I found this story over at Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax to be quite amusing. I have one of my own as well...

While I was attending Brown University my roommate and I made our room home to just about anyone on the floor that wanted to stop by. One of the girls with a room to herself down the hall asked me to come by for a chat. *quizzical look* "Uh...ok...� so I went. She sat me down and expressed her concern over my use of profanity (as well as perhaps the image such language presented). She asked me not to swear for the remaining 2 months. I laughed out loud. I knew there was no way that was going to happen. She asked again, "2 weeks?" I wasn't laughing quite as hard now. One last try for her, "ok, 2 days." I was still laughing but I agreed...I could do 2 days without swearing. I thought.
Not 2 minutes after we left her room I managed to stub my toes really hard on the metal bed frame in my room. There went my promise of clean language...
"MutherF*cking Son of a...� It clicked in my head. "Shit" It clicked again. "Fuck!" I couldn't make it stop. "Dammit!" Every time I realized I had just cussed, another profane word expressed my frustration. I was doomed. Oh, and there were about 8 people rolling on the floor by now...

Evil Pickles

It was my long night on campus so I was most definitely tired and hungry when I got home. My food was heating in the microwave but I was hungry NOW. So I reached into the fridge and found Japanese pickles...Mmmmm. But, in my haste to tame the angry stomach the struggle with the plastic container was much more difficult than it should have been. Then the mutherf*cker sliced my finger clean open!
So now I've temporarily got a band-aid on my finger to keep pressure on it so it will seal. I can't leave it on their too long though or I'll get a giant red welt. Why? Well...from best I can tell...I'm allergic to band-aid adhesive. Odd, I know. Kind of ironic about the blog title then too, huh? hehe

Weird

It's odd to visit your own blog and watch it morph before your eyes. It almost makes it easier to get a good design though. That way I'm not all caught up in the personal "I made this" mentality and I can really tell if I like it or not. Unfortunately that means throwing the designer back to the drawing board more times than probably seems nice. SORRY!!
But her designing has been spectacular so I can't wait to see the final product!

Are You Serious?

I suck at this today

Test

1st try