August 30, 2005

Nasty Socks

I was on dog sitting duty again a few days ago ... this dog never ceases to amaze me with his antics...

Not only does this dog piss on everything in sight - he constantly needs to drop a steamer ... constantly... Only he doesn't want you to know he's doing it. He regularly climbs into shrubs and hedges to avoid being seen. The back 'yard' where he lives doesn't have any foliage to hide in but he tries his best to hide under something.

On the day in question, Shit Monster went into the 'wooded' area that consists of dead branches, fallen leaves, and a sprinkling of trash.

Act One
He attempted to hide behind a tree in the neighbor's yard and gave me a hurt look when I wouldn't let him defile their property. He ran back to the center area and tried to go back to the house but couldn't ... he was too scared to move now that he had his leash caught on dead branches. I swear this dog is such a pussy. I yanked, the twigs broke, he freaked cuz they touched him, and he was free.

Act Two
He attempted to hide in something in the other neighbor's yard and again gave me a hurt look combined with the just let me shit, lady face. He came back to his own yard, climbed under some hanging twigs, and finally did his business ... and what looked like a couple of other dog's business as well ... as he waddled in a circle. WTF?

You guessed it, he's tangled his leash in the dead twigs again. This time he neared a full blown panic at being stuck. The more I tried to coax him in the untangling direction the more he freaked out ... and pranced from paw to paw like a little kid doing the pee-pee dance. The voices in my head were screaming at this point... NOOOOOO!! But he did. I snapped the twigs again and he was free... ready to go in the house.

He was agitated that I made him sit at the door instead of just letting him in. But I had to check to see if my worst fears had come true. Had he pranced himself right through the fresh pile? DAMMIT! He had.

A good hose down later I was bitter at him, he was bitter at me and we went our separate ways for the rest of the afternoon.

Posted by Princess Cat at August 30, 2005 12:26 PM @ 12:26 PM in SSDD // Permalink | TrackBack