I'm embarassed to say I'm watching Dr. Phil at the moment but when it came on, I just couldn't turn it off because of the topic - terrible in-laws. Granted, I've never been married but I've had some bad experiences with the potential in-laws that have definitely been detrimental to my relationships.
So...the show didn't really help because I got distracted and didn't really pay attention...but what I did hear sounded familiar. Men that don't stand up for their wives... in-laws that talk trash or meddle... women that get backed into a corner because they are entirely abandoned... men caught in the middle that do nothing because they don't know who to side with...
While I love my grandmother and I have issues with my own mother, I saw first hand how this affected my mom as I was growing up. My mother did everything she could to make that woman happy. She gave up relationships with her own family and I missed out on relationships with my extended family only 4 hours away because my grandmother insisted we spend holidays with her. My father never stood up for my mom and to the best of my knowledge, never even validated that she had a reason to be upset when my grandmother did something. The snide remarks were missed when we were young but always could sense the tension. We always knew when our parents had been fighting over her, even if we couldn't hear them. My grandma didn't respect my mom and my dad never stepped in to ease the tension. My mom got run over for years and was never given any credit for how hard she tried or how emotionally trying it was to be the bigger person for nearly 30 years.
The only potential inlaws that have ever treated me well were the people that believed I was far too good for their son and practically encouraged me to leave him once they realized I was about to do it.
Maybe this is why I've never been married...
Posted by Princess Cat at June 29, 2005 04:43 PM @ 04:43 PM in SSDD // Permalink