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They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !

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Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

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UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

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The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

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In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

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The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Before you start shopping for kitchen cabinets, measure the space in your kitchen so that you know what you need for the size of your room.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

If a man does his best, what else is there?

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

Whilst it could be easy to start an web business and sound ideal to have the ability to function at property bear in mind that it takes time and effort, patience and determination to earn extra income on the web.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

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The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

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You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

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Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

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I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

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Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

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One could of course combine the two varieties of income opportunities.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

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Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

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There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

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Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

When i open up the Nourish it gives you me with a lot of sprained textual content, could be the issue on my small finish?

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

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If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

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Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

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Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

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A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

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If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

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Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

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Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.

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The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

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Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

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Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

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Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

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Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

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The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

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Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

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TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

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There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

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The truth is more important than the facts.

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

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You may have not intended to do so, but I feel you've got managed to express the state of mind that a lot of people are in. The sense of wanting to support, but not knowing how or where, is some thing a lot of us are going through.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

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Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

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Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

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Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

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The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

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Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

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Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

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A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

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We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

When I initially commented I clicked the "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Cheers!

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

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What is the easiest way to make money off of my blog posts?

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

Dude.. I am not much into reading, but somehow I got to read several articles on your blog. Its amazing how interesting it is for me to stop by you very often.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

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Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

I created a new user, opened Firefox, and there are only the default bookmarks. There is an "import" function, but it only offers to import Internet Explorer bookmarks. Is there any way to copy/import between users on the same machine?.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

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Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

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I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

Fantastic Publish, One for the book mark manager.

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

Great Submit, One for the bookmark manager.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I wanted to start making some money off of my blog, how would I go about doing so? What about google adsense or other programs like it?.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

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A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

Sorry for the double post.

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Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

What are some good blogging sites where your posts are actually read by others daily?

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

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I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

The truth is more important than the facts.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

This review is very informative. Current events are so uncertain ...yet its nice to see this enthusiastic play group. Good Luck in all your endeavours

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

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And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

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Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

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In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

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I have a domain that is redirecting it views to my main site. I want to build a wordpress site on that domain but i cant access my admin for wordpress because it just redirects me to my main site. I don't want to take my domain off redirect until the wordpress site is done. So what do i do?. It is redirected thru my registrar. How would i login with my IP?.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

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Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

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True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

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If a man does his best, what else is there?

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

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When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

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