A Swift Kick & A Band-Aid

And when it rains,
Will you always find an escape?

I had another doctors appointment this morning so I decided to take the whole day off...

I've come to the computer with the urge to blog three or four times now since I got done with the appointment, but nothing seems to be there, ready to come out.

I think its time to admit I'm in another funk

I want back what I never really had ... but my heart remembers what I told myself it was. I know I don't want what it would be now ... but my heart remembers what I convinced myself it would be today.

When someone said count your blessings now
For they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how

According to the belief that God (whoever and where ever that being is these days) only gives you can handle ... I'm one resilient muther fucker...

We all saw a funeral coming ... Sunday it will finally arrive. Monday we will go do what the military calls a burial. After that much neglect and selfishness, how could you not see this coming? I'm fairly certain they did and that was precisely why they behaved the way they did. The only thing I have to say about that is: passively allowing a person to die is still actively choosing not to help a person live.

And if that weren't enough ...

My aunt needs surgery on her foot after crushing her heel and she's dealing with a compression fracture of thoracic vertebrae. Its a tough road to go when you've got help - she lives alone and is now homebound, unable to navigate the stairs to her front door.

Have you ever felt like your family was cursed?

(yes, that is rhetorical)

Didn't someone say I deserved a break? Cuz I wanna call in my favor now ...

Head Over Heels For Me, Weak In the Knees For Me

I've finally gotten around to it ... a lovely pic of Miss D and her new hubby from their wedding two weeks ago

As you can see, they are a very cute couple :-)

We're livin so hard you might not make it through the night
Follow the bright lights

Lil Bro officially became a homeowner today.

Against all the advice, he bought a home in his new town before ever having spent any time there or learning how he likes his new school/program.

Having a lawn to mow and a whole 3 bedroom house to keep maintained while trying to pursue a PhD and teach ... all at the same time, for the first time? And deal with a girlfriend that has never lived away from her entire extended family before? Um ... No, thank you.

I just may be the only sane person in my family ...

How's THAT for a scary thought?

You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

Random update... (and thank you, to those that are still checking in on me these days)

When it's too late to apologize. Now what?

I haven't really learned how to interact with and share experiences with people that I have lost a fundamental level of respect for ... not just in the particular situation, but as people. That kind of respect that everyone deserves, just because they are another human being. The kind that goes away when other people decide it isn't worth giving to anyone else.

What do you do when these people are part of your life that you cannot change?

For example:
I have already made it clear that should I ever get married, my dad's wife is strictly prohibited from attending any and all associated functions as well as the wedding itself. I have made a promise that I will have her arrested before I let her take part in something like my wedding.

I can't take that stance with every family member that I think deserves to be buried alive by the very filth they spend their lives producing. But I don't want to go around putting on the nice face while I try not to dry heave from the sheer disgust I feel.

Call me judgey if you will ...
But I also cannot forgive what doesn't seek to be forgiven.

And it's too late to apologize ...

And your eyes, they tell me how much you care

My blog lapsed ... AGAIN ... but it was for good reason this time ...

I was out of town, in the middle of nowhere, with no where to be but one place...

She was a beautiful bride and her groom was almost as handsome ;-)

I was a dumbass and didn't take a camera but they had a wonderful setting and an even better view. Here's pics from the property's website:

I'm sure (since Miss D is a reader here) that once she's back from her honeymoon and moving escapades that she'll have a pic or two that I can post.

I think it was a special day for the both of us. In fact, I think I made her cry when she saw I was there. I am awful about actually staying in touch and letting people know how much they mean but Miss D has been a good thing in my life for 10 yrs now. In fact, she's the friend I have kept in touch with longest, despite my poor follow through. Her wedding was the only the third time I've seen her since we parted ways (both in tears) 9 summers ago.

I was happy to make her happy on such a special day and to finally let her know, this wasn't meant to be a one-way friendship.

Congrats D!!