A Swift Kick & A Band-Aid

Even Though The Donald Might Sue Me For Stealing His Catchphrase ...

Over the last couple of days it dawned on me ... I get some kind of sick, twisted, deep down, pleasure-filled enjoyment out of firing doctors.

I'm not a huge fan of the profession to begin with but when I end up in a room with those that have an ego or attitude that clearly entered the room before they did (and hardly fitting through the door), they are on very thin ice. They'd better be damn good at their job for me to put up with that kind of crap.

And the ones that think they have pulled off humble well enough to fool me? Try again. I've got a bullshit meter like you wouldn't believe. Be genuine or find a new patient to pay for your malpractice insurance.

The ones that really irk me are the ones who think my medical care should be done on their schedule. I understand that there are a lot of patients and only so much time in a day. Tests take time, procedures can't always happen this instant, some insurance companies limit reimbursement for office visits, etc. But there is no reason under the sun that I should have to come into the office for a very simple test result that does not require a discussion of treatment options. And when you don't call my insurance company for days on end after promising to call the day I was in your office ... it is the last straw. You are now fired. You are not so special that my test results cannot be transfered to someone who actually feels like being responsive to patient needs.

While I'm at it ... when you are from country A, attended medical school in country B, and practice medicine here in the States with that kind of attitude ... I have every right to question your reputation, your credibility, and your medical record. If you don't like it, tough shit ... My ass in this chair means you are getting paid. I will gladly fill someone else's pockets that actually gives a shit about the person in the chair if you just can't be bothered.

(With rants like these, I may grow up to be just like Uncle Jimbo before I know it)

Somewhere she is on the streets trying to make things better
Praying to God and breathing deep

Every time you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece of you starts to fall into place

Just when you think you've met the bravest person in the world that you wish you had the courage to be, someone else comes along and shows you that there is a whole new level of strength that you didn't even know a person could have.

I opened my email this morning and there sat a request for help. A girl I've known since high school has decided to write a book - her life story. She has suffered with a "problem" that science has labeled an impulse-disorder ever since I've known her. She's tried medication and therapy, but science doesn't have an answer to help her.

She wants our perspective - the friends, the family, the ex-boyfriends, the co-workers - to tell the world what it is like to have this disorder. She said:

"I've always felt I was given this disorder to make a difference and I think by telling my story, I can educate the world on this secret disorder. Even if I never conquer this disorder, I hope others can learn by communicating my experiences."

I still don't know what to say. Me ... I, the princess of prattle, am speechless. I am humbled to have this friend in my life and just so proud of her ... so proud

Hi, I'm a PC ... and I'm a Mac ...

Damn you, AWTM!

Damn you, RSM!

Damn you, Buckethead!

Now I have the macbook in my head and it won't get out!

Whoa, I don't have to be afraid of this sinking ship
And that's good to know
'Cause I've heard it all before
But I'm walking on water now

The medical drama seems as if it may be wrapping up ... thank GOD!

Surgery went extremely well yesterday (although, the COAW wasn't there in time to talk to the surgeon after surgery like we were). They removed a 10-15 pound tumor that could have plausibly been there for about 8 years based on symptoms. TEN to FIFTEEN POUNDS!!! If that doesn't say incompetence from the primary physicians, I don't know what does.

I am feeling like perhaps the universe is managing to see the right thing through, despite the best efforts of some people to muck it up with their own baggage. I don't have a whole lot of faith that such things are likely to happen, but I am happy this weekend to see that, just maybe, my lost faith was a mistake.

A week ago this man's wife and son decided that there was nothing to be done for him. Without a biopsy or a second opinion they put their foot down that surgery would just speed his death so it wouldn't happen. They began planning for hospice without a single sign that this man's death was anywhere near.

Today he's facing a whole new life (and smaller pants!) without any of their unfounded fears ever threatening to come to light.

Yet, they are still the small, petty people they will always be. Because I was the person that never gave up hope, because I am the person that cried when they gave up, because I am the person that pushed for more information, because I stood up for myself when they treated me badly, because I insist on being the person that keeps everyone going toward something better ... they will not acknowledge my presence in a room or accept any specialist I can lead them to. They deserve the misery they live in.

I am relieved that mercy found this man, that what could have been devastating was not, and that I was able to reinforce within me the strength it takes to stand in the face of what others would not.

What color purple are you?

You Are Grape

You are bold and a true individual. You are very different and very okay with that. People know you as a straight shooter. You're very honest, even when the truth hurts. You are also very grounded and practical. No one is going to sneak anything by you. People enjoy your fresh approach to life. And it's this honesty that makes you a very innovative person.

But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

So here's the update on me for the past week:

The aforementioned stupid, self-absorbed cunt of a whore ... ? Even more so. I can't honestly think of a concise statement to describe how unbelievably irresponsible, selfish, and incompetent this woman is. Lets try by example to enlighten everyone:

-- Her husband was transfered to a new hospital and she visited him the next day, but hasn't seen him for the last five.

-- Her husband began refusing treatment and said he wanted to talk to her. When we told her this, she refused to call him. (Note: She has not called him at all since he went into the hospital 3 weeks ago)

-- She refuses to call any of the doctors or nurses to check on her husband - "it is their job to call me" as she sees it. (Note: The doctors do not want to drop everything to call her and have said she needs to call them)

-- When doctors do try to get her on the phone her line is busy or no one answers. When they call the secondary numbers, she screams at the person they called for "interfering"

-- The doctors have said they need to do a face-to-face to discuss consent issues and the next steps in treatment - she hasn't indicated a willingness to be present.

Oh, and have I mentioned, she's the power of attorney? The hospital asked the grandson to become an additional power of attorney but when we discovered she has to approve it, we knew it would never happen.

In my life, I got sick. Just when I thought I was feeling better, my body started producing disgusting stuff that just can't be a good sign.

Fuck me running ... how long am I supposed to be the rock with the positive thoughts? Cuz I'm really running out of steam here.

And now I can't stop thinkin' about it
All you people at the top, don't know nothin' about it

Seriously ... some people should just not be allowed to be in a position of power. And I do mean any kind of position where they are the decision maker.

What kind of woman calls the hospital and instructs them not to release information to anyone but her? Not even the patients own relatives after they have spent a week and a half being her primary caregivers and intimately involved in the case from the very beginning! Oh yeah, the same kind of woman that leaves her husband sitting in the hospital for a week waiting on a transfer to another hospital that can't even be bothered to return a phone call about the case, let alone actually read the file. Meanwhile she's turning down another hospital actually calling to ask where their patient is.

You stupid, self-absorbed cunt of a whore.

Too bad the poor man can't speak for himself because for all we know, he's dying right before our eyes.

I AM The Mutha F'in Princess

UPDATE: ITS HERE! ITS HERE! And it is sooo everything I had hoped it would be!

I finally went and ordered my dream bedding. It is for a queen when I only have a full but I've got sheets & a bedskirt that will match well enough for now. Eventually I'll upgrade the bedside and the whole thing will go together beautifully. THe most important part is ... as long as everything goes right (I was told by 3 people today that this was unavailable, 1 person said it was $500, and 1 finally ordered it for me for half price like it was supposed to be), soon enough I will be sleeping on this little piece of heaven:

She Just Needs Someone To Take Her Home

Ok, I've been engaging in some serious blog neglect ... I just haven't been here. I'm not really sure where I've been ... it just wasn't here.

I told one of my co-workers last week, its really starting to feel like I just can't catch a break. The minute there is a chance for something to go awry, it does. Sometimes things still work out in the end (not holding my breath that the bedding shows up, despite the hold on my credit card), sometimes they don't. It still feels like the universe is off kilter and the dominos just can't help but fall over, no matter how many times I keep setting them back up.

I left work early about a week and a half ago to make sure that someone wasn't going to be left in the ER and would actually get admitted to the hospital for his pneumonia. 16 hrs after he arrived, in the middle of the night, they found him a bed.

A week later, just as they were ready to send him to a nursing home for daily physical therapy to get some strength back, a surgeon drops the bomb that he needs to be in the OR Monday. A CT scan found an abdominal mass, a liver mass, and fluid in the abdomen. Whaaa? We thought he has pnumonia ... where did a surgeon come from??

His family and my family both went into overdrive trying get ok with the idea that surgery would happen, to find out if this surgeon had the credentials to make that call, and to get him in the hands of someone who was more specialized. Turns out he wasn't just some schmuck with a scalpel but a transfer to a different hospital was ultimately decided.

Monday has come and gone. No surgery has happened, the transfer hasn't happened, no assessment has been made by the new hospital. I really want to be hopeful and positive, for the sake of everyone involved, but I am beginning to feel like a magnet for all things that can go wrong.