August 21, 2008

Run Baby, Run ... Don't Ever look Back

I am once again in massive cleaning mode ... I've shredded three trash bags full of things and probably come up with about half as much straight trash. And I'm not done yet.

I keep coming across a diary of sorts that I kept during a relationship long since dead and gone. Actually (unfortunately), it is less of a diary and more of a self-therapy notebook. It is full of times when I ran away to cry, he lied to me, I needed a way to verbalize my frustrations with the failing partnership, etc. Truthfully, its a pretty painful memory of how stupid I was. I have no idea if that guy ever found it, read it, or even knows that it exists. I suppose it doesn't really matter though. In any event, I have come across it each time I've gone through one of these phases and I've never thrown it away.

Here's my question dear readers:

Is this one of those keep because you'll want to reflect on your life when you're 85 kind of things or one of those, good riddance to bad rubbish kind of things? Is it a helpful reminder of what it felt like to be that stupid and what not to ever accept in my life again?

Posted by Princess Cat at August 21, 2008 02:17 PM @ 02:17 PM in Way Down Inside // Permalink | TrackBack

I have dozens of those books. Too painful to read 'em over again. I keep thinking maybe they'll be showcased posthumously in the Smithsonian if I ever achieve something significant in my life ... as a warning to others that yes, even smart girls do a lot of fucking DUMB things. :)

Posted by: dawn at August 21, 2008 08:18 PM

trash it, burn it...

do it whilst....trying to forget it...

just thank your stars, you did not get a tattoo of his name on your ass, or something more permanent like a wedding ring

Posted by: awtm at August 23, 2008 07:01 PM

I'd say as long as you learned your lesson for it, the best thing to do is shit can it. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

On the other hand, if you're given to bouts of impulsiveness in relationships, you might want to keep it as a reminder so you don't fall into the same old bullshit again.



Posted by: Assrot at August 24, 2008 08:02 PM

It sounds like more of a "grief book" than a diary or journal. If it is, then burn it. Final, once and for all closure.

Posted by: Ted at August 25, 2008 08:17 PM

Have you disposed of this book yet? If you have not, I'll ask one question. Does the re-reading give you any insight into your present condition? If keeping it and finding it periodically helps you recognize how you've grown and moved on then it might be worth keeping. If not, then fire is likely your best option.

Posted by: The Maximum Leader at August 26, 2008 03:40 PM