August 23, 2008

I Wish You'd Unclench Your Fists
And Unpack Your Suitcase

I found a remarkable level of peace this week. Of course, in the true style that is my life, it was the by-product of an argument. Ah, my old friend drama ...

I blocked my brother from chatting with me.

He ambushed me with a question about why my mom was calling him. When I gave him my estimated answer and some FYI that went along with it, his defensiveness kicked in. It turned into the never ending drama that goes along with someone carrying the baggage of a full blown inferiority complex. I immediately became the bad guy in his mind. I did my best to be patient but when he called me by another family member's name as an attack/insult, I had enough of trying to rationalize with the irrational. I said good bye and I blocked him.

I feel like I've closed a chapter. I feel done.

I will have to see him at Christmas time and I'm sure I'll get coaxed into going to his inevitable wedding, but now it all feels so much less assuming and doomed. I no longer have the expectation that the relationship can be repaired. Its less of an "I don't care" and more of "I have better things to put my emotion toward."

No more wishing.
No more hoping.
No more expecting.

Just breathing the fresh air that I've found

Posted by Princess Cat at August 23, 2008 09:41 PM @ 09:41 PM in Drama // Permalink | TrackBack