August 11, 2008

If I Ruled The World
Imagine That...

Really, I know I should be letting my brother's immature, constant need to prove he's a grown up get to me ... but he just keeps including me. Can't this kid just leave me alone already?

My mom says all he wants is his big sister's approval but let me tell you something, he ain't gonna get it by being retarded.

And when I'm only allowed to say the things you've previously scripted, I'm not really going to respond with an overwhelming need to have a relationship with you. Seriously... me? Controlled by someone else? Have you met me lately? I do still have a pulse ... so, that's not really going to work for me.

Why am I agitated by him you ask? The text message moments after his girlfriend said yes and the newspaper clipping of an email he sent detailing to the family three days later that she said yes. (no "don't let him get to you" notes, unless you really must, because I know ... there is a delete key for a reason ... and I have used it ... but the fakery just made me that iil)

Well no duh she said yes ... she's the cougar that's been pressuring you to ask so that she can start popping out kids like the rest of her family. (Bye bye PhD! Hope you didn't really want to finish that, lil bro) The text message I deleted with very minimal heartburn. I was annoyed but DELETE and DONE. The email today ... wanted to punch him - in.the.face.

Who writes to their family like this?

I am proud to announce my recent engagement to (FIRST NAME) (LAST NAME), formerly my girlfriend of three years who presently lives with me in (LOCATION).

< blah blah details >

They're not posted yet, but there will be too many pictures to sit through available online at some point. My face has never ached so much and my eyes never felt so burnt as they did with the paparazzi-esque picture frenzy that followed our arrival! There must be about 2000 pictures from the weekend . . . I'll make sure the links to the picture pages are distributed when they're up for anyone who is interested.

I'm looking forward to celebrating with all of you! We don't have a particular time in mind yet for the big day, but that will come in due time. I'm relieved to have made it through an emotionally overwhelming moment and ecstatic to say that I'm engaged to a beautiful woman who is my best friend and more.

With pride, joy and love,


Maybe I'm overreacting but if you knew my brother you'd see that this email is a ridiculous attempt to "be grown up". I mean come on ... her last name? Its not an announcement for the paper where the people reading aren't going to know immediately who she is. Its your family who you have talked to about her and half of which you've forced us to spend holidays with.

Next time, be less of a tool and I'll feel less punch-you-in-the-face-ey. ok?

Posted by Princess Cat at August 11, 2008 06:00 PM @ 06:00 PM in Drama // Permalink | TrackBack

You know there comes a time now and then when you just have to give one of your siblings a wake up call by kicking their ass.

This may be one of those times Sweetie. Take care of it ASAP. Believe me, you will feel better and so will he.



Posted by: Assrot at August 12, 2008 12:20 PM

Wow. That's cheezy. Pretty f-ed up in a "Are you really f-ing serious dude?" kind of way. Now granted, I haven't seen your bro since fall of 1997, but yeah, that's weird.


Why don't family members tell people when they are doing stupid crap? Isn't that like a family's job?

Posted by: Dorothy at August 12, 2008 09:31 PM

Wow. He reminds me of someone... uhm... who could it be? I think it's Tom Cruise. Hey, is your brother a scientologist? Cause he probably coud be, ya know.

Posted by: ChooChoo at August 15, 2008 04:09 PM

That was the freaking funniest comment evah

Posted by: awtm at August 15, 2008 11:37 PM