June 22, 2005


Yes, Loyal Subject (and people Eric sent over), I have set out to write about cadavers...real live human beings, only they're dead...

Since Eric was so kind as to send traffic my way, I thought I'd give you guys something to read about. After all, no one has won the topless photos yet...

Once upon a time, I was a senior in high school...after much study, kow tow, and ass kissing… I was granted the privilege of dissecting a human cadaver... Let me tell you, it was AWESOME!

The Scene:
An unassuming high school classroom kept just a little bit too cold with an innocent looking wooden cabinet in the back. 4 oddly out of place autopsy tables aligned in the back of the room. 24 high school seniors with far too much curiosity to do them any good.

Day 1: Time to Get Our Bodies
The day began with brownish fluid leaking from the cabinet, covering the floor halfway across the classroom. We didn't have to deal with it...our class didn't meet until after lunch. It was up to the other classes that met in that room to deal with the stinking, putrid fluid. Most of them didn't know what it was...but we did...
The bell rang, we filed in, and divided into our 4 assigned dissection groups. The teacher stood up on a counter top and barked out directions. Group by group we proceed to remove our bodies from the cabinet.
...Group 3...
2 girls, 4 guys, 1 dead chick, and a porcelain table with a drain
We each grab part of the red plastic body bag and heft...Damn this woman is heavy! Our efforts were not evenly distributed and neither was she. Fluid sloshed in the body bag and we struggled to heft her 4 feet off the ground in a coordinated fashion...we almost dropped her a couple of times. She was double bagged but that didn't stop the fluid from finding the path of least resistance...where the zippers met. The fluid also found my cutely manicured toes, primed with the school colors, mistakenly placed that morning in open toed shoes. Finally we got her up where she belonged, but not before we smacked her head on the table in one of the worst thuds I think I've ever heard.

Once everyone was situated we opened up the bag... The smell was something you cannot prepare for. It hit your nostrils deep inside and made you question your real need for oxygen. Our eyes fixed on a 74 year old woman who had donated her body to science...that was nearly floating in the same red-brown delight that was now squished between my toes. The remainder of the day was spent bailing her out...with little plastic drink cups... It took a while before I could drink Kool-Aid again.

We decided she needed a name...being the smallest, yet most fluid filled cadaver in the room... she was dubbed Juicy Lucy

Next time, teenagers with scalpels...Muhahaha

Posted by Princess Cat at June 22, 2005 12:10 AM @ 12:10 AM in Good Times // Permalink

Hey ! I went to high school with a girl whose mother's name was Juicy Lucy. She got that name because she was notorious for giving the teenage high school boys very detailed lessons on female human anatomy. Never thought I'd hear that name again. Hah! You made my day.

Posted by: assrot at June 22, 2005 09:47 AM

..my blogdaughter gets an Acidbath.. rock on, Cat..

Posted by: Eric at June 22, 2005 10:10 AM