My mom called last night.
Just shoot me now
She was her usual meddling self ... telling me how to handle work, that I wasn't being paid enough, have I considered what the opportunities for advancement are ... like she's got her own life under control.
Meanwhile, she's still at work at 8pm, in a job she hates, frustrated almost to the point of tears, not considering another job ... because she doesn't want to "quit for nothing"
Yeah, I'm just rushing to take your advice, Lady
So then the issue of the holidays rolls around. I have become the evil ogre of the family for saying I don't want to go back to Cali this year.
My brother is not worth traveling for - I get maybe an hour's worth of time from him when I'm in town. We can't make it through a meal without a text or phone call from his girlfriend or his friends wanting to go hang out. Thanks, but I don't need to fly all the way across the country so you can 'grace me' with your presence.
My dad, not worth going to Cali for, sad to say. His wife has been nixed from my life entirely and thus, why go out there for a holiday I can't share with him? I'll see him here, I'll see him in Kansas. That's all the room he makes for me in his life, so that's all he gets.
My mom is the only other reason to go ... she is offended that I don't want to go just for her. She is playing the pity card and making me out as the selfish one. Oh, and don't forget the this-is-all-your-father's-fault-for-divorcing-me-and-now-I'm-all-alone guilt card she is playing.
It was seven years ago ... MOVE ON!
Well here's the whole story (or why I don't feel like an ogre)
Her side of the family is having a Christmas celebration that I plan to go to. She doesn't know if she is going to go. I planned to see her there, the week before Christmas. Going to the trouble of flying half way across the country just doesn't seem worth it to her so maybe she'll go, maybe she won't.
And she never considered coming out here.
So as long as I have to fly and I have to make the effort, everyone is happy. The minute my feelings come into play, its bad guy city.
I say, peg me for an outlaw cuz relationships are a two way street.
yep, they certainly are. but as a mommy, you just always want to be with your kiddos during the holidays. always. those memories of the turkey, and the cousins, and the pie, and the laughter, well it's tough to emulate without seeing your kids.
can't speak to the bitter divorce stuff...don't know a thing about that!!
i know EXACTLY how you are feeling. family...the ties that bind and gag.
Posted by: shelley at November 3, 2006 05:21 PMI too am accussed of being slfish this year, because we are staying put, in our little house ALONE for the holiday. I cannot think of anywhere I would rather be. All tucked in here, celebrating the day in our jammies unitl noon.
A part of me would love to fly home, but 4 people from a non hub to a non hub at Christmas is surely $$$$and there is the gifts, and yes flying halfway across the country to satisfy everyone, that will "work and keep normal schedule" while we have taken the time and expense to travel.
Someone is sure to have hurt feelings along the line.
So, I will stay here, tucked into my little house.
and I will be glad...
life is too short for drama.
Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at November 4, 2006 09:27 AMIf it makes you feel any better, you inspired me today. I went to the grocery store, and some troops were there with "shopping lists" and asking if people would buy a few of the items so they could make care packages for the troops overseas.
I had only gone to the store to get mouthwash, but $217 later, I had my mouthwash and a cart full of tampons (even though they weren't on the list), trail mix, applesauce, nutrigrain bars, sunflower seeds, crystal light, candy (no chocolate), deoderant (male and female), baby wipes (they weren't on the list either), beef jerky, tuna fish & cracker packs, chapstick, white socks (male and female), and foot powder.
So, see, even if you don't have a "great job" in your mom's opinion, you inspired me!
Now I have to figure out how to explain to my mom that I spent $217 of my wedding money on the troops...I'm sure she won't mind though.
Posted by: Dorothy at November 4, 2006 07:25 PMA line to remember that I've heard used rather effectively:
The planes fly from Cali to where I am, too, you know.
Posted by: Ogre at November 6, 2006 10:18 AM