September 27, 2009

Some Things We Don't Talk About
Rather Do Without And Just Hold the Smile

I don't really consider myself a crier. Well, in the sense that I generally refuse to cry in front of other people... Put me in front of Gray's Anatomy and I cry like a baby. But in front of other people just doesn't happen for two reasons: 1) I refuse to show weakness in the face of those attempting to cause pain, and 2) its just plain embarrassing.

I broke down and sobbed in my friend's arms when I discovered I was still being cheated on in college

I lost the ability to intelligibly speak as I cried in front of a room full of people instead of giving the toast they wanted at my dad's wedding reception

I wept at my grandmother's funeral and forced my way through the tears as I held a family photo and told the judge how having her taken away affected me.

I screamed through the tears when someone told me I had no right to be upset about a man that was being neglected into death by his family.

But yesterday at a party, when I least expected to cry in front of other people, I cried trying to explain the anxiety of a homecoming.

Maybe I cried because I knew they didn't get it, or maybe because I'm scared of the chance that there won't be one, or maybe because I'm scared it won't be in an airport, or maybe it was just time I finally cry about being alone ... but the only reason I felt at the time, was the fear that we will have grown too far apart.

I know I'm in good company as I've never been able to read AWTM's thoughts on it without tearing up ... maybe I really am a crier?

Posted by Princess Cat at 09:00 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 11, 2009

9/11 Memorial: Jerrold H. Paskins

Jerrold H. Paskins was an insurance executive with the Devonshire Group that lived in Anaheim Hills, CA. He was viewed as the quintessential Midwesterner with strong values, an even-temper, and a bright, caring way about him. He had a strong work ethic – in the office by six each morning and never stopping for lunch.

Jerrold believed in personal mementos and routines. He never left the house without the ring his wife Inez gave him for his 40th birthday, a 1976 silver dollar issued for the nation's bicentennial, and each day did one pushup for each year of his life and an extra for good luck.

On Sept. 9, Jerrold came to New York for what was supposed to have been a three-day business trip. The morning of Sept 11, 2001, Jerrold was to work on an insurance audit in a large, windowed conference room in the North Tower of the World Trade Center. Jerrold perished after the first plane struck the tower where he was working. His remains were identified Nov. 11, 2001.

Jerrold is survived by his wife, Inez, and their son, Robert. The 1976 silver dollar and the special birthday ring were also found and returned to his family.

Posted by Princess Cat at 10:47 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

9/11 Memorial: Juan Nieves

Juan Nieves was a hard-working man from Puerto Rico. He was a father of four, living in the Bronx that was always spending time with his family members.

For nearly thirty years, he made salads and appetizers at the Russian Tea Room but lost his job when the restaurant renovated. In 1994, he began working at Windows on the World on the 106th and 107th floor of the North Tower in the World Trade Center.

On September 11, 2001, flight 11 collided with the North Tower, killing 73 restaurant staff members and 92 guests and destroying the restaurant. In 2006, some former Windows on the World Staff opened “Colors” as a tribute to their fallen colleagues. The eclectic menu is meant to represent the diversity among the staff at Windows on the World.

Posted by Princess Cat at 10:46 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

9/11 Memorial: LeRoy Homer, Jr

LeRoy Homer Jr. grew up on Long Island where he always dreamed of flying. He began flying lessons at the age of 15, earning his private pilots license before the age of 18. He later graduated from the United States Air Force Academy and was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Air Force.

Homer served in many operations while on active duty, to include Operations Desert Storm and Desert Shield and those in Somalia. He later joined the reserves and achieved the rank of major.

Homer continued his flying career by joining United Airlines in May 1995. On Sept 11 2001, he was the First Officer of flight 93 - the plane that was hijacked and later crashed into a reclaimed coal-mining area near Shanksville, PA. Flight recorders showed that the crew and passengers of Flight 93 took heroic action against the highjackers which ultimately prevented the plane from reaching its intended destination, believed to be the U.S. Capitol or the White House.

For his actions on board Flight 93, Homer received many awards and citations posthumously, including honorary membership in the historic Tuskegee Airmen, the Congress Of Racial Equality's Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Award, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference Drum Major for Justice Award, and the Westchester County Trailblazer Award.

Following his death, the LeRoy W. Homer, Jr Foundation was established to provide financial support and encouragement to young people, with an interest in aviation, to pursue professional flight instruction leading to certification as a private pilot. Tax deductible donations can be made at:

LeRoy Homer is survived by his wife Melodie and their daughter Laurel, who was born in late 2000.

Posted by Princess Cat at 10:45 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 07, 2009

Its Not My Time ... I'm Not Goin'

Anyone that knows me know, I am NOT a morning person...

Apparently, the dog has not gotten the memo (really? after this many years? seriously, learn how to read already!) He is perhaps the strongest force keeping me from considering kids in the near future behind the financial aspect and the utter lack of a support for us to lean on.

This dog decided at some point that I must be awake and ready to take him out at 8:30 each and every morning that I am not required to be awake earlier for work. Not having a yard, this means actually getting dressed, putting on the leash, and going for a brief neighborhood stroll. Normally I pawn this responsibility off on the hubs (after all, its his dog) but now it falls on me.

I tried to be understanding ... really, I did ... its morning, you gotta pee, ok ... I'll give him a pass.

Not anymore. He ruined that for himself this weekend.

He's been in no hurry to do any kind of business once we've gotten outside, he's turned up his nose at his food when we've gotten back inside (its microwaved for christ's sake!), and I just about lost it this morning when he curled up on his bed and immediately went back to sleep.

So ... I'm awake on my day off, sitting here with a sinus headache, unable to go back to sleep, hearing about how Obama's idiot healthcare ideas might actually pass ... and it was for no good reason? Un.Happy.Camper.

Yeah, I'm not ready for kids yet

Posted by Princess Cat at 09:58 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack