Is it really Christmas eve already...? ugh ...
I am not ready for it to be Christmas.
I am home recovering from the flu today (thanks to family members that don't understand to stay home when they have been shitting themselves silly).
I didn't get my neighbor gifts out.
My tree has no ornaments on it.
I am hardly willing to take a shower alone in the house for fear of passing out, there is no way I'm going to be able to enjoy a Christmas feast, let alone make one.
Santa, can I get a do-over?
If there's one thing I wish I could snap my fingers and have over with, it would be wedding planning. I know that sounds terrible, but I'm beginning to wonder if the price I'm paying for a true wedding is worth it. Family drama ... family drama ... family drama. And the holiday season just complicates things - it makes shopping with friends so much harder.
It is exciting to plan, but it is tedious. I can only look at so much ugly in one sitting. Seriously ... who buys this shit? From dresses to invitations, there is a lot of ugly. And expensive ugly too! But I guess you have to kiss a lot of frogs, right?
I did order a dress on Friday. I hadn't slept well in two weeks trying to figure out what I wanted. My stress headache was so bad by Friday afternoon all I wanted to do was eat some chocolate, have a good cry, and go to sleep. After buying the dress and having a little lavender aromatherapy, all was well again.
Being put in the middle between my parents' difference of opinion on money for the first time in several years is something I could really do without. My mom told me tonight that she thought I was irresponsible for letting my dad decide the budget for my wedding (obviously it is much higher than she thinks is appropriate). Apparently discussing line items with the financier as they arise instead of setting a strict number is irresponsible. Is it my fault that my dad said that is how he wants to handle it? And since when do I just spend money without regard for the value of the purchase or the appropriateness of the price tag?
Eloping is really sounding like a good idea...