May 31, 2007

if you don't like the way I'm living today
I'll keep it in mind
as I casually dismiss all you say

Someone has now taken it upon himself to decide my personal feelings are out of place at work and my tendency to be emotional is of concern. So, here goes an open letter:

Oh really?

My words - open for censorship in the spirit of professionalism
My actions - open for censorship in the spirit of professionalism
My emotions - OFF LIMITS!

I can be as unhappy, pissed off, irritated, disappointed, and downright mad about anything and everything I want to be ... so long as my words and deeds meet the standards of decorum.

If you don't like the fact that I cry when explaining someone died and that I am frustrated YOU won't be my advocate for leave ... DON'T. CALL. ME.

I would have much preferred to handle the situation without you but you happen to be the person with the immediate approval authority. I don't like it any more than you do. So deal.

If you want to label me as difficult because I am willing to do my homework and push for the things congress took it upon themselves to put into law on my behalf, that's fine. It is only "difficult" because no one else seems to have read those little acts of congress plainly available for anyone to read ... in pretty colors even. I'd rather be difficult than walked on.

Pardon me if I need a little adjustment period to the idea that things I waited oh, 15 months for can change in one day and that I have to accept the reason, "its the nature of the business." Because you know what? No, it isn't. It is the culture that has gone on for so long that it became force of habit to operate like human capital is worth less than the paper you wipe your ass with. Some things can't be helped, but most of them can ... when people actually want to do their jobs right.

And really, if going into the bathroom and crying helps me come back to my desk with a clear head ... what the hell business is it of yours? It's not like I'm sobbing in public or in a position to compromise a face to face relationship from my isolated corner where no one talks to me. I don't recall that being up there on the list of problems with excessive drinking or smoking pot ... but then again, maybe I am the one that can't read. The day I can't do my work you have a leg to stand on. Oh wait - I might need real WORK before that could happen...

I cry precisely because of people like you. People that think treating each other with the callousness with which you comfortably function is the new 'normal.' I will never be one of you. I will cry each time I am expected to become you. If that means a new career, I can live with that.

Posted by Princess Cat at May 31, 2007 08:16 PM @ 08:16 PM in I Wear These Boots For A Reason // Permalink | TrackBack

Damn. I'm sorry. People can be such asshats, can't they?

Posted by: HomefrontSix at June 1, 2007 12:13 AM

Stand your ground.

Posted by: Pixie at June 3, 2007 10:43 AM

.... don't let the bastards bring you down.....

Posted by: Eric at June 3, 2007 10:13 PM

I've broken down in tears at work more than once, also. I totally agree with you. As long as I can still function it is no ones business.

I hope you get through to the people you need to.

And, Thank you for posting on this. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this.

Posted by: sticks at June 4, 2007 05:58 AM

ahh, it sucks to have a job in a field you love, with no respect, responsibility or workload.

hang in there, stand firm. don't let the putz dehumanize you.

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