May 11, 2006

Your Friendly Blog-o-sphere Car Salesman...

... SWG ...

Yep, Eric of SWG should become the 'sphere car salesman. How do I know? Listen to the dream I woke from this morning.

Setting: Large-scale blogmeet of some kind, as best as I can figure

Everyone is having a good time, chit-chatting, laughing (lots of laughing), having some munchies and a few drinks. Most everyone knows each other in some capacity, but there's this one guy ....

He's a big guy. Very tall, large bone structure, and of formidable weight. No one seems to know who he is or where he came from. People try to include him in conversation and be polite, but he is a master of concealing any meaningful information that may reveal his identity or connection to the gathering. He looks no one in the face as he talks and focuses his attention in a general downward direction. There remains a purposeful air of mystery around him and confusion in his wake.

::: Enter Eric :::

From somewhere in the house Eric stumbles upon the scene, determined to bring some comedy to the scene. The next thing you know, the big guy is fairly drunk. Yet, he is still far more interested in keeping his head down, curt conversation, and the snack table than much blogger-style socialization. So Eric presses the envelope a little more.

Eric starts chatting up the big guy about anything he has expressed an interest in or a desire for. Given his attention on the snack plate, many food items were discussed. Suddenly, Eric starts offering to sell him things.

"5 bucks for a bag of those cashews to take home with you, Buddy"
"How about some of those olives for later? Just a couple dollars"

And the offers expanded...

"Seems you really like the style of this table. It’s yours if you've got about 45 greenbacks you want to part with"
"The ring? Yeah, it's a nice ring. I tell you what, I'll let it go for a C note if you really want it that bad. You're a good guy."

We all stood around in amazement. This guy was taking every offer Eric threw his way. Big dude's wallet was hemorrhaging. At some point it became a sport that we all started betting on.

The big money was on how much trouble Eric was going to be in with Mrs. SWG though. She walked out and we all got dead silent. Eric took his new customer to investigate more potential sales. All that could be heard behind them was nervous laughter and shuffling, uneasy feet.

We reluctantly clued Mrs. SWG in that her husband was auctioning off their belongings to a stranger. She paused for a minute and her face tightened. Until she got curious, "How much is he selling us down the river for?"

We relayed the prices on things and she burst into a fit of laughter. Seems Eric was taking the big guy for the ride of his life. All the prices were at least 75% above the item's real value, if not twice that.

So personally, I think Eric would be perfect for 'sphere car salesman. Just don't buy a car from him now that you know why he got the job. But the ellipses would really put newbies at ease ...

Posted by Princess Cat at May 11, 2006 10:22 AM @ 10:22 AM in What the Crap? // Permalink | TrackBack

Okay, that clinches it. Not only are your readers weirder than mine, your *dreams* are weirder than mine. Sadly, I have absolutely no trouble picturing Eric do that.


Posted by: zonker at May 13, 2006 09:02 AM

.. whoa... so I was actually fleecing the big guy?... you sure have some interesting dreams, sis.... heh...

Posted by: Eric at May 13, 2006 11:07 AM

remember, he usually tries to fix you a drink at those things, too. I think his technique might be chemically enhanced. I know I came back from a viist $50 short one time.

Posted by: RSM at May 15, 2006 06:30 AM