I've just gotten home from an interview that appears to be with a good group of people, flexible work environment, and decent pay for part time work.
But I'm pretty sure I bombed it.
I was distracted by trying not to cough ... which failed and to which after a few minutes one of the interviewers said, "you sound miserable" - great, just what I want an interviewer to be focused on...
My head was definitely not in the game. I did not sell my skills, my talent, or my interests with any kind of convincing bravado. I listened to them more than they listened to me, and given that I depend on the face-to-face sale in order to be hired, that's just not a good thing.
Yet, I'm pretty ok with this failure.
I took the interview, despite feeling like complete ass, because every interview helps prepare you for the next. So, I learned some lessons this morning from actual interview experience - that's a good thing.
Then, you have to think - a foot in A door, isn't always going to get you a foot in THE door that you're looking for. I know I could do the work they are asking for but it is a foot in the door to an aspect of the industry that I haven't ever been super-infatuated with. So, maybe there is no real big loss in not going to work for them.
But more importantly, maybe an immediate opening isn't what is meant to be for me at this time. This job starts ASAP - like in 2 weeks or less. No break between current job and next. No re-grouping. No downtime. Only start now, work now. Somewhere I have to hope that fate has scheduled for me some kind of respite from things. Sure, there are a lot of people facing lives much more difficult than mine but that doesn't mean I'm not deserving of some rest.
And then there's Dad, who has asked me if I might come to Kansas again and share in some of the childhood he experienced there. I can only guess he wants to re-live and pass on to help him heal from the loss of his mother, the re-awakened pain of losing his father at the age of 13, and the realization that he has no parents left. And knowing that what little support my dad is willing to accept comes only from my brother and me, I feel that I have to make that something important in my life right now.
So, maybe it’s ok to fail this time. Maybe this failure it is part of something larger that is meant to be, for a better opportunity and a better me.Posted by Princess Cat at March 23, 2006 11:13 AM @ 11:13 AM in Grad School // Permalink | TrackBack