March 04, 2006


Since it’s a weekend and no one will be blogging or reading blogs, I'd like to take a moment to have a little self-awareness/pity party for myself. My apologies if you came here looking for something of more substance - that's just not me right now.

Whilst smoking some of the greatest cigarettes of my life ( ... it had been SOOOO long ... ) I realized that I am insane. Plain and simple. I am insane.

I live my life watching it unfold like a movie I have seen three times over. Most of the time, I can see what will happen before it ever does. I do my best to observe and wait to see if it will really play out the way the movie says it will ... perhaps because I fear altering the destined course of the world or maybe I just don't want to be deemed as controlling as my mother was.

But here's the insane part ... I am always crushed when my predictions come true and the movie plays according to its script without missing a beat. I almost always know it is coming before hand, I expect the hurt and disappointment long before it is delivered, but I am insane enough to hope this time will be different.

Some days I just wish I could be wrong.

Posted by Princess Cat at March 4, 2006 09:44 AM @ 09:44 AM in Drama // Permalink | TrackBack

Ugh I htae that feeling like your life is a movie...sometimes ill hear a song when I am driving and have that feeling like "is this really my life!?!" go out have some fun and destress :) tomorrow is a new day

Posted by: Katie at March 4, 2006 11:12 AM

damn, me too. exactly, but oh yeah, we're fiber optically related, right? they say doing the same thing and anticipating a different result is the definition of insanity, so yes, dear, if your premise is accurate, you are truly insane.

congrats, you're in fine company.

Posted by: shoe at March 6, 2006 01:16 PM

Honey, you're not insane. You may think you are unloved and alone, but you ain't. I like you and there's a whole host of other fellows who like you and your blog. Keep up the good work.


Posted by: Subsunk at March 10, 2006 02:49 PM