A Swift Kick & A Band-Aid

Piss on him. No, really! stand just outside the locked door and piss. I would.

Just Damn!

You should have kicked him in the nuts. Bastard. Fuck him. You should have asked to hold his pecker and when he whipped it out, smash the hell out of it with the nearest heavy object. I am a vicious SOB when it comes to people fucking around with innocent women.
:-)

Most place I have found that require a key from the women's room and not the men's is due to the fact many men are dirtbags who sneak into the women's room. Hell my church back where I grew up had to go lock the women's room during the week after a guy tried to rape a woman in the bathroom.

Sure it may be a pain in the ass, but some times its done for reasons other than being a jerk.

Actually, I understand that concept completely as a matter of professional experience. Sure, it's a looong stretch to call what I do as a "profession", but just follow along.

When I dropped out of college, I worked for a time as a cleaner in a suburban mall. After that, I was a security guard and, for a time, a retail loss prevention investigator. All of these involved daily trips to the ladies room. You see, one of the oldest theif tricks in the book is for someone to wait in the washroom until an establishment closes. Once everyone goes home, they emerge and rob said establishment blind. In fact, my first girlfriend's brother was arrested for doing just that. Criminals are sneaky. Go figure.

What I've seen in ladies rooms have forever disabused me of the idea that ladies are dainty. I've actually seen, no kidding or exaggeration, blood and feces not only on the toliet seat, but the WALLS of a ladies room stall. And I've seen it more than once, too. On average, I've probably seen that three times a year for the last decade.

As you can imagine, it still shocks me beyond words. Not the fact that women can be just as sloppy as men, I've always known that. I'm stunned that these girls can so easily defy the laws of physics. As I understand it, when things such as blood and feces drop out of your bodies, they should continue a downward trajectory. Not so. Unless these girls are 25 feet tall, it sometimes manages to fly upward and horizonatlly in every direction. Every time I see it, I continued to be stunned from a scientific perspective.

Ok, let me clarify... if there is a reason to lock one, there is a reason to lock both. If I have to ask for a key for whatever security or safety reason, so should a man. Otherwise I'm following Dax's advice and pissing on the man's shoe next time.

My Sweet, Sweet Princess.

I left certain things unsaid for reasons of being politically correct and therefore, sexier. You'll notice that I spend very little time noting the security and safety necessity of locking bathrooms and great deal of time documenting the biohazards found within.

You'll also notice that I spent no time at all listing the horrors found in the men's room. There is -to use sitcom parlance - a very special reason for this. Men's rooms don't happen to be anywhere near as bad. Men ocasssionally pee on the seat, but I have yet to see one crap on the wall. I'm not saying that it's never happened, just that I've never seen it. I certainly expect someone's experience to differ from mine. But I am, after all, a professional.

I have this theory based on my experience. You see, women are societally expected to all dainty, cute and neat. This must be a rather inhibiting way to live one's life. And is true in most inhibiting lives, those living them seek opportunities to "play against type." It is also noteworthy that, again, in my experience, the nicer the neighbourhood, the messier the retail ladies rooms. I've worked in a store that housed a fucking methadone clinic and you could eat off of the toliet seats, should one be into such things. But in the more exclusive stores I've worked, you'd need a biohazrd suit to just enter the ladies room.

But I think we should move on from this potty talk and onto more heady matters. Matters like the various places on your anatomy that I'd like to devote my life to kissing. Let's leave this unpleasntness behind, shall we?

My workplace is like that -- we're already on a security floor, and we have to pass through another secured door to get to our offices. The bathrooms are just off the elevators in a common area. Men? Get to rush right in. Women? Have a four-digit code to punch in to loosen the lock. Cruelty in the highest form, I say!