July 19, 2005


More than anything (besides snakes), I HATE spiders...especially the black or brown ones. They are creepy, crawly, and all kinds of hibblie jibblie. I've written before about them and their death warrant that is signed the moment they enter my house. Last night a rather large spider found out that when I say my house, I mean the house I'm staying in, and I mean business. So here's the story...

First night I'm here, there's a spider at eye level on the wall...mom kills it.

Next night, spider in the middle of the floor...mom kills it. I go to my room to go to bed, move the pillow, and the spider hiding underneath scurries across the bed, underneath the other one. I of course, freak the hell out. The evil army of eight legged repulsion crossed an unforgivable line...no one defiles my bed unless I say so... Mom and I ripped the bed apart, picking up the mattress and everything, but to no avail... the offender cannot be found. Only after all the bedding is shaken and the pillows pounded on the floor am I able to get into bed...and even then I hardly slept.

Next night, spider looking creature on the floor...it was some other bug unlucky enough to be seen by me... mom killed it.

Last night, I am tired and I am more than ready to go to bed. I perform what is now a ritual of moving the pillows and shaking them before I can get into bed...nothing happens...I think I am safe. I was wrong.

I grab my PJ top off the bed, turn it right side out, and pull it on over my head. I walk to the door to turn off the light when I feel something tickle. It wasn't a normal tickle. It was the kind of tickle that made my mind immediately freak out while hoping I'm just a paranoid psycho. Nope... I tug at my shirt to make the tickling stop and out plops the previous bedroom offender...he's big enough to have identifiable mass... I am shuddering at the realization that the evil doer didn't just get near me...it was on me...it touched me...it tickled me!

This could not stand! I look around the room and find my homicidal weapon of choice...the 3 inch heel big black boot...

In one motion I move the bag it had crawled under and swing down with the boot. It is a loud, satisfying thump on the carpet that sheers off a couple of legs and leaves its body slightly crumpled. But that is not enough for me. I must have revenge!

Several angry blows later, I emerge from my homicidal rage and bitterly tell mom of the unspeakable offenses and the spider's rightful demise. But still, I slept horribly... in fear that more are lurking... and may now have my number...

Posted by Princess Cat at July 19, 2005 10:51 AM @ 10:51 AM in All Things Evil // Permalink | TrackBack

I'm amazed you didn't scream so loud the neighbors called the cops!
I'm sure your mom appriciates having a ground up spider imbedded in her carpet now.

Posted by: Telebush at July 19, 2005 12:17 PM

that was hot!!!

Posted by: CT at July 19, 2005 03:04 PM

Karma...karma's a bitch, sometimes. Good luck!

Posted by: Victor at July 19, 2005 03:56 PM

Ack! Scarry stuff!! Eeeek!

Posted by: Charles at July 20, 2005 11:57 AM

Whew ! Remind me to never tickle you. I hate to wind up with a 3 inch heel embedded in my back and a couple of my legs torn off. Spiders and snakes are cool.

Posted by: assrot at July 20, 2005 12:34 PM